Review of Verotika

Verotika (2019)
1/10
There are bad movies, and then there's "Verotika."
26 February 2020
Warning: Spoilers
As a lifelong fan of Danzig's music, I was looking forward to his first time behind the camera, but it becomes pretty evident pretty quickly that the man can write a song, but he can't write or direct a movie. At many intervals, I had the urge to let loose a series of patented Danzig "Whoa's!" to assuage the pain of the nonsense I was seeing unfold before me. I only stuck around for the whole thing to properly review it and to see if there was anything redeeming about it. There wasn't.

This is listed as having a $1 million dollar budget, and I'm still trying to figure out where it all went, because I see none of it reflected on the screen. All of the sets look very, very cheap, like those you'd find in a high school play. The visual fx, which most of the time, should be any horror movie/anthology's bread and butter, are laughably awful. A cg spider that looks like it crawled out of the early 90s, static eyeballs slapped on to a pair of equally horrible with what look like silly putty, and a six armed monster whose crotch seam has broken and the open gape is clearly visible in one scene are just some of the ones that got the loudest laugh from me.

In several interviews, Danzig has spoken of his love for the genre; what he likes, what he's influenced by, and that's what I was hoping to see, but had I not watched those clips, "Verotika" would have led me to believe that he had never seen a movie in his life or had the slightest understanding of the process of how to make one. He has a lot, and I mean A LOT to learn about directing, writing, continuity, lighting, staging, pacing, and editing if he ever wants to make something watchable, let alone enjoyable.

"Verotika" is an amateur bore, not worth the hour and a half of your life that you can't get back. Comparisons to "The Room" are apt as this is equally inept, even more so I feel. It clearly shows Danzig had no one telling him it was a sh.t show as production moved along, but he's got his defenders that will gladly die on the Hill of Danzig, praising everything he does with no discernment while enabling him to continue making terrible things. Hiring Ashley Wisdom to be the lead in the first of the three things he calls stories was a huge mistake. Her fish lips are grotesque and extremely distracting. I guess Glenn didn't want to take the time to find any talented actors or actresses for this. While everyone here does a poor job, she does a REALLY poor job, showing no range, ability, or understanding of the craft of acting.

Yes, I know horror movies by and large are plagued by these very things I'm criticizing, but the great ones always have something memorable in them; something that people take with them even if it's just a cool concept, piece of makeup, character, or character in a mask. This has none of those things, and if I could give it a zero on here, I would.

It's online for free if you know where to look. That's how i saw it, and I still feel ripped off.
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