Review of Timebomb

Timebomb (1991)
6/10
Pretty run-of-the-mill action/b-movie
10 August 2019
The funny thing about "Timebomb" is that it has a similar plot to those Matt Damon "Jason Bourne" flicks: the protagonist, played by Michael Biehn, seems like an average Joe until an experience sees him remembering repressed memories of his time as a government assassin.

Biehn was a strange casting choice. He was beautiful in all those movies he did with James Cameron, and utterly believable as a military man, even one from the future. But here? He's not even looking good. I don't know if it's the hair, or perhaps his looks were fading already, but for much of the movie he looks like Rik Mayall.

He's also just not that good in the role. I don't know why. Maybe it's just that the role sucks, but I found it hard to believe him as the bookish watchmaker he starts the movie as, or even the government assassin we find out he was. And this is the guy who was so believable, and unforgettable, as Corporal Hicks in "Aliens".

Far better in the movie is the beautiful Patsy Kensit. She seems to be quite roundly hated in her home country of the UK, and I'm not sure why. She's a believable actress, and it is easy to root for her.

Since this is a b-movie, aside from not having the best production values, the movie also has a lot more sex and violence than you would expect - and certainly far more than any of the "Bourne" movies. Particularly there is nudity. Biehn keeps having flashbacks to what looks like a Playboy video, featuring a buxom lady rolling around in the nude. Since Kensit plays the woman Biehn takes unwillingly on the run with him, you know eventually they are going to end up in the sack. Here, it happens much later than you'd expect, and the sex scene is kind of awkward. Kensit makes noises like she is in pain, and facial expressions that seem to indicate anger rather than lust. It's over pretty quickly, and isn't that great.

There isn't too much to recommend "Timebomb" for, really. There's one memorable scene with a chase through a porno theatre, shots of the screen showing a woman nude from the waste up, but sound effects indicating hardcore porn. When they finally reach the top-secret assassin training camp, there are some nifty effects of projections on the ceiling, and Biehn lies down in a machine that looks like a huge vagina. But these moments are few and far between - how many times have we seen the guy marked for death by shadowy characters, taking a sexy young woman on the run with him, fighting off the attackers and eventually falling in love? "Timebomb" is painted by numbers.
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