7/10
'Cause I'm Not a Blonde
10 April 2019
Holy crud...this is one shocker of a movie. Okay, dude, it starts off as literally one of the worst movies I've ever seen. Additionally, I find out - as I went in cold, man - that it's a musical out of nowhere.

Okay...I'm dropping the "Valley" talk I just had to endure for 100 minutes. Anyhoo, I somehow just had to continue watching as I can't rate a movie one way or another without seeing the whole thing. So, I proceeded in what I thought would be, in fact, one of the worst films I've experienced.

Bam! After musical segment #2, they seemed to forget this was a musical and went back to the comedic tone. And...it got funny. And funnier. Sure, not all jokes landed, actually about only 50/50 did, but when they did I was laughing. In one scene, I actually did completely, unabashedly and unapologetically laugh out loud.

This was followed by the movie reminding us it's a musical and they performed one of my all-time favorite music hits I never knew came from this: "'Cause I'm a Blonde" by Julie Brown. And it was the full music video!!

Funny enough, when the movie started, it told us: "Introducing: Julie Brown" and that she was one of the writers. I did know that she did sung that song, I just didn't know they'd use this movie as a platform for her to get it and the video, not to mention a bunch of MTV name drops, out into the public.

And just like that, I was on board. The movie turned funny, the songs good to great and it's definitely a movie you can't take seriously. Now, it's not perfect and once again, that opening was so hard to get through. But, getting past its flaws, namely tonal issues and an undeveloped script, the movie was totally rad. (Sorry.) Totally tubular!

And totally 1987, two years before its release. Yeah, I saw 'The Living Daylights' was playing at the local theatre in one scene. That was Timothy Dalton's first of only two appearances as James Bond; the first in 1987 and second ('License to Kill') THIS year of release: 1989. Plus they had an obnoxiously big "George Bush for President" bumper sticker for an obscene long time on screen. He was running in 1987-1988. Maybe they delayed the film two years in shame for that or didn't have money for reshoots?

I digress. This crazy comedy, sometimes musical and loose sci-fi alien fish/cat out of water story takes time to warm to, but when it starts to get good, it's a blast. Total recommendation.

***

Final thoughts: So, I'm doing this crazy 100-movie marathon of 1989 films to "prove" 1989 was the best year in cinema and twice now, two movies I haven't seen before, knew nothing about, surprised me with songs I've loved all my life. 'Chances Are' - actually, a pretty bad movie, got a higher rating from me once I heard/discovered it was the birth film for Cher's "After All." And this got the bump and respect from me when "'Cause I'm a Blonde" showed up out of nowhere. Again, probably just thrown in for Julie Brown to show off her skills. I dunno, don't care. Worked on me!
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