6/10
Star Wars with a good helping of Goofy
11 March 2019
After reading many of the reviews here I see a widely split audience. I can understand why, however I believe that those who condemn this with 1 & 2 stars are really being unfair. Seriously-- they're comparing this with the worst movies in history? Perhaps a bit less emotional cinematic balance is in order.

This is neither the best nor the worst movie ever made. It is a visual eye-candy fest somewhat crippled by a ludicrous premise (moving cities on treads), a story that has so many Star Wars references it's just... well actually it was rather fun pointing out all the Star Wars references. But the hokey one-liners, marginal acting (except for Hugo Weaving, who rawks as usual), and so many jump the shark moments that by the end they were importing more sharks to jump.

If one were being super-critical, then of course we could wonder things such as "why use hydrogen instead of helium in an air city?" (Yeah, that would be a REALLY valid question). One would also wonder why there were no defenses AHEAD of the shield wall. We could slam the concept of how much energy and fuel it would take to run one of those gargantuan monster cities (and impossibility of doing so), or point out that the entire populace would have been smashed to little gooey puddles every time they hit a major pot hole. Yes, there were all kinds of flaws throughout the film.

That's if we were being super-critical. But anyone who has seen any Transformers movie and then rates this less than one of those atrocities would be most unfair. The special effects in this were rather incredible-- and I say that in a day when CGI has made special effects hum-drum. People who say they were "bored" at this must have some kind of major bio-chemical flaw, because there was little in this continual adrenaline romp that was boring. (Absurd, yes. Not boring.) Okay yeah, there was no nudity, no extreme blood and gore, no graphic sex, endless obscenities, etc etc. So I guess some jaded viewers might find it "boring".

For the average viewer however, the average ratings tell the tale. A lot of people liked it, some loved it, a lot of people hated it, some (like me) accepted the good parts, got a chuckle from the bad parts.

The real tell-tale is the box-office, which performed dismally. That's what happens when people listen to too many pompous critics rather than making their own decisions. (It's also what happens when the theaters charge so much for popcorn and drinks they make it far more economical to just wait for the DVD.)

Did I enjoy the movie? In an absurdist, over-the-top, jump-the-shark, amazing CGI kind of way, yeah. As a cerebral film that is one of the best movies of all time? Not even in the running. It's basically fast-food face-candy, like so many action-packed sci-fi movies these days.

Anyone who can sit through Batman vs Superman or the latest X-Men movies should be able to stomach this one. For those who rated this 1-star... seriously... you folks need to stop watching sci fi action movies and switch to another genre. Why continue to cause yourselves pain by attending movies you know ahead of time you're going to hate? I mean, get a clue.

This is a sci-fi action romp with somewhat astounding CGI-- and nothing more. It's a Star Wars wannabe that misses the mark. Worth watching? Probably. Going to take home anything special from it? Aside from an adrenaline high, probably not.
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