The acting is below average. Nothing makes sense. There are lifeforms in space, mostly edible giant carnivorous crabs you can bait with crystal and repel with fire extinguisher. And ludicrous Chinese dragons that wail like whales slithering where there's no water.
There are only three chicks aboard, and they are hot. Two are from the regular crew and are banging with the black dude. Hard. One is the cook, and she's covered with tattoos, has messy hair and... issues.
All the nooks of the ship are dirty. The kitchen is a pigsty I'd not even take a dump in. Cuz ya know, they're societal trash, so, they like to live in the dirt and never wash anything.
There are pirates in space but the ship has no canons.
I understand the reference to the ol'book of lore, but they all fall short. Who needs a brass telescope on a starship ? And a cavalry saber ?
That could have been a good film, but meh.
There are only three chicks aboard, and they are hot. Two are from the regular crew and are banging with the black dude. Hard. One is the cook, and she's covered with tattoos, has messy hair and... issues.
All the nooks of the ship are dirty. The kitchen is a pigsty I'd not even take a dump in. Cuz ya know, they're societal trash, so, they like to live in the dirt and never wash anything.
There are pirates in space but the ship has no canons.
I understand the reference to the ol'book of lore, but they all fall short. Who needs a brass telescope on a starship ? And a cavalry saber ?
That could have been a good film, but meh.