Review of Kiliç Aslan

Kiliç Aslan (1975)
7/10
Look out fellas, this cat's got claws!
30 December 2018
This film sure gets a lot of mileage out of Lionman clawing people in the face. This is a good thing, because right here is the best Turkish film I've ever seen. And I've watched about five of them!

Lionman becomes Lionman because his daddy was a nice warlord who won a battle and tried to broker a peace agreement with the opposing force, only for them to turn nasty and assassinate him. Lionman mother died in birth but luckily his uncle or somebody sneaks him out of the castle, but then sets him down to have a pee or something and by the time he comes back, some lions have gone and taken him. Hence: ManLion.

He's like Tarzan only he likes to tear people's faces open with his fingers. People can be smart and say 'Yeah? Who told him how to make and wear underwear?' but that probably just happened naturally after he friction burned his balls on those vines he keeps swinging on. Years later, he's all growed up and so is his half-brother, who works for the evil warlord and thinks the warlord is his dad, and vice versus. If only the evil warlord has looked, just once over the last twenty years, at his 'sons' back and noticed the tattoo that all children of the nice warlords have. It's like a lion drawn with a biro by a drunk person.

Lionman gets caught up in all the crap with the evil warlord and the rebels when he rescues some guy by tearing everyone's face off, but then he also saves his half-brother from the rebels. Eventually, he does end up on the rebels side, being taught English and spending his spare time clawing people in the face.

The thing that's great about this film is that a huge fight erupts every couple of minutes which usually involves Lionman jumping up in the air and clawing at people's faces until they fall over all bloody. In the last battle alone he must do it to about one hundred extras with his iron claws. Did I say iron claws? He ends up with them because his real face-clawers get melted with acid.

Endless fun from start to finish. Daft too, like all the trapeze equipment that appears in the evil guy's castle so Lionman can do stunts. I nearly forgot to say that Lionman's roar is hilarious!
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