3/10
Where's The Marvel? It's Too Disney For Me.
3 October 2018
I'm showing my age here, but I'm also coming from a long history of loving Marvel toons. Synthetic music with digital instruments gives me headaches. It's so much commercialized content that 'Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors' becomes a perverbial shaking of the keys in front of a baby's face. It's flashy bright colors set to excess noise; if this were Japan you'd expect to read about the hundreds of cases of children going into seizures (Much like California's theater warning for 'The Incredibles 2'). It was as uncomfortable to watch as a ShamWow commercial, "HEY I'M YELLING REALLY LOUDLY SO YOU'LL LOOK UP AT THE TV!!!"

Secondly, just at a glimpse I couldn't help but notice the body transformation of Squirrel Girl. What was the point of giving her birthing hips? The Squirrel Girl I remember had a tiny frame which gave her action scenes against bigger villains a lop-sided battle that you couldn't help but cheer for her to win. People tend to root for the underdog, not the guy big enough to lift grown men off their feet. It came across like she was the bully in at least one scenario.

There wasn't much of a story here. It's basically hero-worship of older Marvel characters and living up to be just like them. It takes away from the individuality of the new characters origin stories. I saw this as one long movie edited from the shorts that wemade available. Maybe the idea was to get all of this information in small doses? I don't know. My experience was tiring. I didn't finish watching because there wasn't much there for me to care about. No mystery, no central element, and all commercial.
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