2/10
Can Only Watch Paint Dry For So Long
4 September 2018
If you have enough interesting ideas for a watchable seven minute short film but decide to stretch it out to feature length by simply directing your performers to "walk down the hallway slower...No, even slower than that." you would probably end up with this film. Other directorial notes must have included "Stare longer"; "Wait longer before you speak"; and "Cross the room as slowly as you can - don't worry we're not cutting away!" For the record I am a fan of the long lingering take; of strange original visions; of movies that want to play with complex themes and concepts. And here they might have been going for all of that, and just stumbling badly in the process. Watching patiently is one thing- suffering pointlessly is another. Full disclosure; I finally shut it off after an hour eighteen but unless there was an epic scene with flying penguins, exploding elephants, and a chorus of dancing robots after that I can think of no reason to have subjected myself to further boredom.
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