Sometimes a single line of dialogue can stand out in such a way that you instantly realize that a movie is awful. For 'Slender Man,' that line came from Joey King.
"He's like a computer virus except he gets inside your body and messes with you!" Oh, so you mean like a virus? Why didn't you just say, "he's a like a virus."
Several times throughout the film, that sort of hack writing shows its ugly face (as opposed to Slender Man, who technically can't be ugly because he has no face). There are zero clever lines delivered. Most of dialogue sounds like it was written by a Twitter bot designed to simulate mundane teen talk.
The putrid writing isn't limited to the dialogue-the characters themselves contain about as much detail as one could write on a Post-it note. I think of the four main characters as, girl A, girl B, girl with a sister, and token non-white girl. They're essentially indistinguishable from one another. The only difference is that some are slightly more talented performers, and, of course, the most talented girls are the first to disappear from the story.
What's really striking about the girls is that, even though they're allegedly best friends, they don't even seem to like each other. At one point, I girl makes a catty, resentful remark about her "friend's" trophies. Later, she says, "I thought you didn't care about track. I thought you cared about Chloe." (It's a miracle that I remember her name).
That moment is striking for a couple reasons. One, it doesn't seem like something that should be said between good friends, and, two, I hardly realized the girl ran track. Probably because it's never shown in the movie. I imagine the track angle played a larger role in an earlier draft then removed, but this line was left in. Editing isn't the movie's strength.
When the girls aren't making odd comments to each other or expressing all the liveliness of a folding chair, they're attempting to appear scared. To show that they're scared, they basically do an impression of a panting dog that's trying to speak. It's a lot of breathing and stammering. Acting is also not this movie's strength.
All the above flaws are enough of a turnoff, but the worst offense of this movie is that it's a scary movie that's not scary. It's painfully dull and devoid of anything that may actually make it entertaining. It's as if all the interesting scenes were removed. Why, I'm not sure. Maybe they also cut out the parts that made this appear to be a coherent story.
'Slender Man' is one of the worst movies of 2018. It's not a scary movie that's so bad that it's secretly kind of fun. It's just a bad, boring movie. I recommend a hard pass.
"He's like a computer virus except he gets inside your body and messes with you!" Oh, so you mean like a virus? Why didn't you just say, "he's a like a virus."
Several times throughout the film, that sort of hack writing shows its ugly face (as opposed to Slender Man, who technically can't be ugly because he has no face). There are zero clever lines delivered. Most of dialogue sounds like it was written by a Twitter bot designed to simulate mundane teen talk.
The putrid writing isn't limited to the dialogue-the characters themselves contain about as much detail as one could write on a Post-it note. I think of the four main characters as, girl A, girl B, girl with a sister, and token non-white girl. They're essentially indistinguishable from one another. The only difference is that some are slightly more talented performers, and, of course, the most talented girls are the first to disappear from the story.
What's really striking about the girls is that, even though they're allegedly best friends, they don't even seem to like each other. At one point, I girl makes a catty, resentful remark about her "friend's" trophies. Later, she says, "I thought you didn't care about track. I thought you cared about Chloe." (It's a miracle that I remember her name).
That moment is striking for a couple reasons. One, it doesn't seem like something that should be said between good friends, and, two, I hardly realized the girl ran track. Probably because it's never shown in the movie. I imagine the track angle played a larger role in an earlier draft then removed, but this line was left in. Editing isn't the movie's strength.
When the girls aren't making odd comments to each other or expressing all the liveliness of a folding chair, they're attempting to appear scared. To show that they're scared, they basically do an impression of a panting dog that's trying to speak. It's a lot of breathing and stammering. Acting is also not this movie's strength.
All the above flaws are enough of a turnoff, but the worst offense of this movie is that it's a scary movie that's not scary. It's painfully dull and devoid of anything that may actually make it entertaining. It's as if all the interesting scenes were removed. Why, I'm not sure. Maybe they also cut out the parts that made this appear to be a coherent story.
'Slender Man' is one of the worst movies of 2018. It's not a scary movie that's so bad that it's secretly kind of fun. It's just a bad, boring movie. I recommend a hard pass.