8/10
QUICK! SAVE YOURSELF. GO HAVE SEX!
18 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
This is an erotic vampire comedy/spoof that has cheese and moves into the "so bad its good" realm. A 1,000 year old Chinese Vampire Aleta (Ange Maya) has a coven of daughters living in Alhambra, California. The US government wants to employ her as a secret weapon while a Russian named Ivor Helsing (Garrett Brawith) wants to drive a stake through the "wampire's" heart so she won't prey on anymore "wirgins." He is aided by a psychic vampire detector (Laura Cotenescu) who he meets in a bar.

The acting was horribly bad and some of it was designed that way. Aleta had an odd Chinese-Romanian accent. Zachary Ryan Block who played Joerg Von Helsing in a rather lengthy flashback, was perhaps the worst of the lot and I laughed as he wailed over the death of his father. (Sorry for that plot spoiler.)

The film includes a cleavage cam at one point and breaks down into a split screen musical number at another. It was enjoyable for all the wrong reasons.

Guide: F-bomb, sex, brief FF, male rape, nudity ( Tina Tanzer, Megan Renee Kim, Beverly Swanson, and thank you C.J. Sindayen, Ange Maya )
3 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed