Terminator II (1989)
8/10
Any similarities to "Aliens" are purely coincidental
13 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
In the grim near future Venice, Italy has been reduced to a toxic polluted wasteland. After a team of researchers in Venice die under mysterious circumstances, a team of rough'n'tumble soldiers along with two civilians are sent in to investigate only to run afoul of deadly mutant monsters.

Boy, does this deliciously dreadful doozy cover all the essential Grade Z low-rent schlock cinema bases with positively jaw-dropping ineptitude: We've got clunky (mis)direction by the notorious Bruno Mattei, tin-eared profane dialogue, obnoxious macho meathead characters, clumsily staged action sequences, a meandering story which unfolds at a plodding pace, cheap sets (the main underground lab location looks like an old, leaky, rundown factory -- and probably was exactly that!), hokey monsters, laughably lousy dubbing, a ridiculous surprise ending that comes totally out of left field, and, best of all, a shamelessly derivative script that steals wholesale from "Aliens" with a dash of "The Terminator" tossed in for extra tacky measure. The hilariously horrendous hammy overacting further provides a wealth of unintentional guffaws, with Geretta Gerretta as strutting abrasive mama Koster, Dominica Coulson as scared little girl Samantha, and Clive Riche as the unhinged Drake standing out as the all-time worst offenders. A complete cruddy hoot and a half.
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