SPOILER WARNING!!!
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A 79-minute introspection of the backstage goings-on with a company of female impersonators as they prepare for that evening's performance. From the start of the movie, the story is interrupted by a call-bell sound, signaling that an unseen narrator (during a freeze-frame, and we find out who this narrator is later, and then we find out that ANYONE can be a narrator, but I digress) is going to give an account of each character in the story, presumably because we, the viewer, need more than the on-screen action to familiarize ourselves with who we are seeing. And it's annoying. The narrator sounds as if he is reading from a book. And I didn't like the feeling of being read-to. I wanted to watch --and then establish on my own-- who these people are and what they're all about. I didn't need to be told what so-and-so did in the early stages of their life, and why it brought said whomever to this room, on this very night. That had nothing to do with the queen who had barricaded herself in the other room, lamenting over the loss of her dearly departed and deep in the throes of a major mental breakdown. I also forgot about the information the narrator gave us about each characters backstory because, well... it had nothing to do with what we were watching.
Moving forward ...
A character throws-up in this movie. YUCKY! I always hate that. Always! That is never cute, or nice, or funny, or ...anything I ever want to ever see in a movie ever. Ever!
!!!Ever!!!
Also, this movie teaches us (and we already knew this, but you know) drag queens lip-sync to music with extremely vulgar lyrics. All of them. I mean every song! What show director in their right mind would be okay with this? That's like everyone that night just happened to come to work prepared to do a Celine Dion ballad. Nope! Change your music or go home. I mean, I don't mind a little schlock, but this was schlock for schlock's sake. That's like rhyming the word "go" with "go", and we all know how Dorothy felt about that when Rose did it. Clear. ...just a sec. Did these girls really only have to do one song? And one show a night? What bar doesn't have their girls do three songs a show, two shows a night? I need to take a break ...
I'm back, with the LIKEYS AND NICEYS: I liked (practically) every character in this movie. The DJ was a hoot -- so silly. Like. Even the shirtless bartender and his controlling colleague. They worked. Like. The big-mouth fan who didn't pay for his drink, the two people who sat with Miss Cutie's Mom during the show, the woman who barged-in and pulled Big-Mouth out ... like. The Bouncer, the Tow Truck Guy, the rest ... like. They were all good. Only, the "Cherry" ... I did not connect-with, or sympathize-for, him. Because I did not believe in the performance of the person portraying him. Now, really, the writing was fine - the idea was fine. It was the actor (and I'm sorry to be so, you know) but he just didn't sell his character to me. He always gave the impression that he was rehearsing and not performing. Acting like he was acting. His eyes distracted me too ... like he was watching whatever was happening in the background, because I wondered if he was. Now to be fair, for a brief moment, when he was consoling Miss Ariella hottie in the powder room, I almost kinda sorta started to think that maybe just a teensy weensy bit this guy might be going somewhere with his performance. But then --no.
Misty Violet ... WOW!!! That's who I was watching and I don't care WHO knows! Someone needs to write this earth-angel a heel-wearing-blair-witch-something-buddy-cop-sorta-spaceshipcaptain-type-thing because I REALLY want to see what this sexy muthafuqah can do!!!
OH! Miss Thing in the gold dress was dynamite!!! SO FUNNY - Luv'd her! She needs her own movie too. With Misty. Yes, those two. My favorites. Netflix series. Needs to happen. WAIT! Who was the Jane Jetson with the Rubypolitan hair writing or reading those monologues? Because she was adorbs, too. Yes, those three. Somebody write something for them as funny semi-drivers hauling bootleg Coors to Texarkana or I don't know what, but quickly, thanks!
Everyone else ... HAY!!! Just not the Cherry. Sorry. And that's all I feel like writing now because, you know, I'm at work and all.
Moving forward ...
A character throws-up in this movie. YUCKY! I always hate that. Always! That is never cute, or nice, or funny, or ...anything I ever want to ever see in a movie ever. Ever!
!!!Ever!!!
Also, this movie teaches us (and we already knew this, but you know) drag queens lip-sync to music with extremely vulgar lyrics. All of them. I mean every song! What show director in their right mind would be okay with this? That's like everyone that night just happened to come to work prepared to do a Celine Dion ballad. Nope! Change your music or go home. I mean, I don't mind a little schlock, but this was schlock for schlock's sake. That's like rhyming the word "go" with "go", and we all know how Dorothy felt about that when Rose did it. Clear. ...just a sec. Did these girls really only have to do one song? And one show a night? What bar doesn't have their girls do three songs a show, two shows a night? I need to take a break ...
I'm back, with the LIKEYS AND NICEYS: I liked (practically) every character in this movie. The DJ was a hoot -- so silly. Like. Even the shirtless bartender and his controlling colleague. They worked. Like. The big-mouth fan who didn't pay for his drink, the two people who sat with Miss Cutie's Mom during the show, the woman who barged-in and pulled Big-Mouth out ... like. The Bouncer, the Tow Truck Guy, the rest ... like. They were all good. Only, the "Cherry" ... I did not connect-with, or sympathize-for, him. Because I did not believe in the performance of the person portraying him. Now, really, the writing was fine - the idea was fine. It was the actor (and I'm sorry to be so, you know) but he just didn't sell his character to me. He always gave the impression that he was rehearsing and not performing. Acting like he was acting. His eyes distracted me too ... like he was watching whatever was happening in the background, because I wondered if he was. Now to be fair, for a brief moment, when he was consoling Miss Ariella hottie in the powder room, I almost kinda sorta started to think that maybe just a teensy weensy bit this guy might be going somewhere with his performance. But then --no.
Misty Violet ... WOW!!! That's who I was watching and I don't care WHO knows! Someone needs to write this earth-angel a heel-wearing-blair-witch-something-buddy-cop-sorta-spaceshipcaptain-type-thing because I REALLY want to see what this sexy muthafuqah can do!!!
OH! Miss Thing in the gold dress was dynamite!!! SO FUNNY - Luv'd her! She needs her own movie too. With Misty. Yes, those two. My favorites. Netflix series. Needs to happen. WAIT! Who was the Jane Jetson with the Rubypolitan hair writing or reading those monologues? Because she was adorbs, too. Yes, those three. Somebody write something for them as funny semi-drivers hauling bootleg Coors to Texarkana or I don't know what, but quickly, thanks!
Everyone else ... HAY!!! Just not the Cherry. Sorry. And that's all I feel like writing now because, you know, I'm at work and all.