6/10
Heil Satan!
28 February 2018
Warning: Spoilers
The title says it all, really. Following the horrific crucifixion murder of her elderly Uncle, Magdalena, an orphan at a local boarding school, starts to act very strangely. She starts speaking like a Glaswegian fruit market stall owner, walking around naked, and best of all, has some sort of kicking fit that results in her kung-fuing a door to pieces before destroying a kitchen. The best bit about that scene was the two lesbian classmates that shrug it all off while nonchalantly getting busy with each other. We are truly in the realm of the sublime here.

This monumentally daft film is of course an Exorcist rip-off, but it has no exorcism and mainly concentrates on Magdalena stripping off and spewing forth a barrage of filth at everybody she has contact with. In fact, the first half of the film is best part as that holds the most horror elements, highlighting with something destroying the attic in front of the two civil partnership teachers, before the attic cleans itself up courtesy of a black cat, who hisses at everyone except Magdalena. It'll be no surprise to you that Magdalen's eyes turn into those of a cat before the cat just disappears. If only the rest of the film continued on like this.

The film instead settles down into a bit of a rut as everyone whisks Magdalena off to a retreat run by two doctors, one of which hits it off with in a very short montage sequence as the two fall in love, which is repeated again only to have the possessed Magdelena drive the fellow mental by giving him the brush off. There's also a sub-plot wherein two cops try and figure out who killed the old guy at the start, but it doesn't really lead anywhere.

Also, it should be noted that the demon involved here puts up absolutely no fight whatsoever, therefore marking it as the crappest supernatural enemy I've seen in a film (save for the Three Mothers of Dario Argento's Three Mothers trilogy). I didn't need to see a live snake stamped on, film, so try not to do that next time.

If you like to watch a film where a lady runs about in the scud screaming about her fanny, you might want this one.
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