7/10
Good job, big blob!
12 December 2017
I'd never heard of this one until yesterday, and now I find out that Mario Bava was involved too. That's nice, seeing as I've just watched Baron Blood. This is a proper creature feature, and the creature featured is one of my favourites – a man-eating blob!

This one is called Caltiki and our very white scientists discover him while mooching around some Mayan ruins looking for some cool jewellery to pawn at the local Cash Converters. We begin with one scientist staggering back to the camp, howling about Caltiki and how his mate has gone missing. Our other scientists (one is our square-jawed, married hero and the other a snivelling snidey guy who's hitting on our hero's wife) go looking for the missing guy and find some camera footage, which makes the film turn in Cannibal Holocaust for a couple of minutes.

The film shows the two guys finding a cave revealed by a recent volcanic eruption which leads to a temple to Caltiki. Suddenly, they are attacked by some unknown creature, which prompts the rest of the expedition to head down there and instantly forget about finding the missing guy after they find a huge stash of gold at the bottom of an underground lake. Dismissing the many, many skeletons lying around, a diver goes for the gold, gets attacked, and comes back to the surface minus his face. As the huge blob Caltiki attacks the rest of them, the snidey guy tries to get the gold and gets all the skin from his arm dissolved.

Our hero is having none of it and drives a truck full of gas into the cave, cooking Caltiki and saving the day. However, this is only fifteen minutes into the film, so maybe everyone should start worrying about that small piece of blob stuck to that guy's melted arm…and the fact that the guy's going nuts…and the radioactive comet that's passing by Earth (don't dwell too much on that plot point or you'll go nuts).

I wasn't expecting too much from a horror film made in 1959, but I was wrong. Freda (or Bava, depending who actually made it) knew that if you have a giant blob, you've got to have it eat people, fight the military, and destroy things, so that's what they have Caltiki do here. The special effects are quite well done (using tripe…very Roman!) and there's a lot of miniature effects on display too. There's the added bonus of the film only being seventy-five minutes long.

Giacomo Rossi-Stuart appears as a professors assistant who is dubbed with a rather camp voice and is there mainly to explain the strange comet sub-plot which barely makes any sense. Talking about not making any sense, I'm not sure quite what forced the professor to swerve off a cliff (unless it really was because he was thinking too much about the blob), and I'm also not sure why the military were dispatched before the hero could convince the cops there was such a thing as a giant man- eating blob.

Nice!
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