Are you sitting comfortably? Do you have your milk and cookies ready? Good!
Once upon a time, there was a television network that was put together from other failed networks, like that Paramount network that brought us Trekkish fantasy and Enterprises with Captain Quantum and his crack-whore vulcan first ossifer. Julie Schwartz looked down from Comic Book Heaven and said, let there be a Comic World network, but we'll hide that name from everyone and call it the CW. Some people, like me, were confused. They thought it meant Country and Western and didn't watch.
And then the Mighty Berlanti proposed a show to the Mucky Mucks in charge of the nickels and dimes at the CW. He said, if you do this show in Vancouver, you can make money EVEN if it fails, because the Canadian Guvmint is anxious to look good and gave tax breaks to companies producing entertainment in the Great White North (CuuuRuuCuuCuuuuu!). And so "ARROW" was born. And everyone was happy that a moose-head quarter could be used in a payphone anywhere.
Arrow brought in lots of quarters, so the Mucky Mucks in charge of the nickels and dimes let Mighty Berlanti try "THE FLASH", which everyone loved. And they made every nerd happy with culture references.
And then the guys on the Coast at CBS (part owners of, and the C in CW) said, "Hey! We're the TIFFANY Network! We need a Superhero, too". And Mighty Berlanti gave them "SUPERGIRL". CBS showered gold everywhere and Warner allowed references to "her cousin". A first season was pretty "meh", but passable "meh", especially when they did a Flash crossover. Everyone saw how WUNNERFUL, WUNNERFUL the girl was, and realized, "We could make money with this show if we could get the costs down." And the Mighty Berlanti saved their Bacon by swapping in some Canadian Bacon and moved the show to Vancouver. And Berlanti said, "I want to make another show..." and the Mucky Mucks cried out in completion, "that makes more money! You shall have it!" and "LEGENDS" was born.
The Canadian Guvmint was happy. Fans were happy. The production teams were happy. Even Grant Gustin was happy. So they did a happy musical number with the Girl and the Flash and everyone smiled and clapped. The Mucky Mucks said, "this one made quite a few moose-head quarters."
And they begged Mighty Berlanti to do it again.
So he did. He made a 160 minute special crossover, a two-and-a-half hour movie for the price of some TV episodes, laced it with political commentary, charged it with super-duper special effects, brought in every hero that could be used, and even got some villains. He gave us the Greatest American Hero (William Katt) unexpectedly blasted away by an EVIL version of our sweetheart, Kara Danvers as the screen erupts into a fight between goose-stepping troops and our heroes.
There was none of that cringe factor with cross overs that you see on Dick Wolf productions. Seriously, some unknown cop gets killed and the entire Chicago PD hangs out in the emergency department on Chicago MED? WTF?
Okay, so Berlanti killed off Dr Stein. Did you really think that an academic could possibly survive for ever? One point that I personally didn't like was Jax' interminable mourning. Holey Underwear, it's a TV show! It's just another Death-of-the-Week!
EVIL Flash! The Harrison Wells Flash from season 1 glides into the medical bay in his wheelchair ready to slice our favourite Supergirl into pieces. I thought for a while, why not Matt Letscher? I'm a fan, but Tom Cavanagh does EVIL Reverse Flash soooo eeeevil.
Citizen Cold! A little less tonsil hockey would have been preferable, but I didn't care. We got to see Wentworth Miller in full SNEER. And in those slotty glasses.
Heat Wave! Dominic Purcell. UUURP! Sorry, I just finished a beer. Classic.
Now you Flash fans are saying, what about the THINKER? What about Ralph? What about Wally? Don't sweat it! Ralph would have got himself killed. The Thinker was too busy having Kraft Dinner. And Wally was keeping Joe and Cecille out of the plot. He was lucky to have an appearance in the first part.
I really have to see more episodes of LEGENDS.
And if my heart's had wings, I'd be the bird that sings, I'd fly where love isn't shy And everyone is willing to try.
Easy does it.
Once upon a time, there was a television network that was put together from other failed networks, like that Paramount network that brought us Trekkish fantasy and Enterprises with Captain Quantum and his crack-whore vulcan first ossifer. Julie Schwartz looked down from Comic Book Heaven and said, let there be a Comic World network, but we'll hide that name from everyone and call it the CW. Some people, like me, were confused. They thought it meant Country and Western and didn't watch.
And then the Mighty Berlanti proposed a show to the Mucky Mucks in charge of the nickels and dimes at the CW. He said, if you do this show in Vancouver, you can make money EVEN if it fails, because the Canadian Guvmint is anxious to look good and gave tax breaks to companies producing entertainment in the Great White North (CuuuRuuCuuCuuuuu!). And so "ARROW" was born. And everyone was happy that a moose-head quarter could be used in a payphone anywhere.
Arrow brought in lots of quarters, so the Mucky Mucks in charge of the nickels and dimes let Mighty Berlanti try "THE FLASH", which everyone loved. And they made every nerd happy with culture references.
And then the guys on the Coast at CBS (part owners of, and the C in CW) said, "Hey! We're the TIFFANY Network! We need a Superhero, too". And Mighty Berlanti gave them "SUPERGIRL". CBS showered gold everywhere and Warner allowed references to "her cousin". A first season was pretty "meh", but passable "meh", especially when they did a Flash crossover. Everyone saw how WUNNERFUL, WUNNERFUL the girl was, and realized, "We could make money with this show if we could get the costs down." And the Mighty Berlanti saved their Bacon by swapping in some Canadian Bacon and moved the show to Vancouver. And Berlanti said, "I want to make another show..." and the Mucky Mucks cried out in completion, "that makes more money! You shall have it!" and "LEGENDS" was born.
The Canadian Guvmint was happy. Fans were happy. The production teams were happy. Even Grant Gustin was happy. So they did a happy musical number with the Girl and the Flash and everyone smiled and clapped. The Mucky Mucks said, "this one made quite a few moose-head quarters."
And they begged Mighty Berlanti to do it again.
So he did. He made a 160 minute special crossover, a two-and-a-half hour movie for the price of some TV episodes, laced it with political commentary, charged it with super-duper special effects, brought in every hero that could be used, and even got some villains. He gave us the Greatest American Hero (William Katt) unexpectedly blasted away by an EVIL version of our sweetheart, Kara Danvers as the screen erupts into a fight between goose-stepping troops and our heroes.
There was none of that cringe factor with cross overs that you see on Dick Wolf productions. Seriously, some unknown cop gets killed and the entire Chicago PD hangs out in the emergency department on Chicago MED? WTF?
Okay, so Berlanti killed off Dr Stein. Did you really think that an academic could possibly survive for ever? One point that I personally didn't like was Jax' interminable mourning. Holey Underwear, it's a TV show! It's just another Death-of-the-Week!
EVIL Flash! The Harrison Wells Flash from season 1 glides into the medical bay in his wheelchair ready to slice our favourite Supergirl into pieces. I thought for a while, why not Matt Letscher? I'm a fan, but Tom Cavanagh does EVIL Reverse Flash soooo eeeevil.
Citizen Cold! A little less tonsil hockey would have been preferable, but I didn't care. We got to see Wentworth Miller in full SNEER. And in those slotty glasses.
Heat Wave! Dominic Purcell. UUURP! Sorry, I just finished a beer. Classic.
Now you Flash fans are saying, what about the THINKER? What about Ralph? What about Wally? Don't sweat it! Ralph would have got himself killed. The Thinker was too busy having Kraft Dinner. And Wally was keeping Joe and Cecille out of the plot. He was lucky to have an appearance in the first part.
I really have to see more episodes of LEGENDS.
And if my heart's had wings, I'd be the bird that sings, I'd fly where love isn't shy And everyone is willing to try.
Easy does it.