The Snowman (2017)
3/10
Wow, this was quite the stinker!
12 October 2017
I just don't know where to begin...

...well lets start with the story, a films core. The Snowman's plot and its execution was all over the place. It's not just that it was nonsensical and just laughably stupid by the end, but the movie was filled with scenes and complete subplots that were completely inconsequential and unnecessary. Some characters and their whole storyline could easily have been cut out and it wouldn't have had any effect on the plot. Excuse me, did I write characters? There were none in this film, only famous and recognizable faces who were hired because of their name. Talking about this stellar cast full of fantastic actors, they just as easily could have been replaced by complete unknowns and it wouldn't have changed a thing. I feel bad for them, since Fassbender is in my opinion one of the best working actors today, along with Charlotte Gainsbourg, J.K. Simmons and Toby Jones who unfortunately just did not have anything to work with from the get go.

Okay, lets talk about the execution of this mess. It starts out slow after a very odd opening and stays that way for more than half of the movie. Nothing important happens. Then we are introduced to some new "characters" and subplots, which also didn't add anything to the film. Then there's some effort to build Fassbender's "character", which had no payoff and was completely unconvincing anyway. Then by the time you get to the half-way point you're bored out of your mind and already know who done did the things that had been done, so there's no reveal or twist by the end. And that ending. It is just completely ridiculous and has a few unintentionally laugh out loud moments. So, there's that.

I have to say that I haven't read the source material, so I don't know if it's as bad as the film (probably not), but the film is just bad. Really bad. It's extremely stale and bafflingly stupid, which caught me off guard, since there was a time where Scorsese was set to direct. I wonder if he could have made it work.

The only good that's worth mentioning is that the setting is very pretty to look at, shot at times beautifully, which at least adds a certain atmosphere to the film and lastly there was some fun gore and unintentionally funny scenes.

So don't go out of your way the see this one, it's a stinker.
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