Don't tell me you're too good for The Bachelorette. I understand that at face value, a dating reality show as ostensibly preposterous, unrealistic, untraditional, and hyperbolized as The Bachelorette deserves a degree of scrutiny; however, the show is much more than it seems if the viewer puts in the time and attention. The Bachelorette — as well as The Bachelor — highlights travel, love, jealousy and other emotional tribulations, family, and as for Rachel's season, even race. First on travel, the show does a spectacular job at taking the viewer around the world and introducing them to places they may have never been or may have never heard of. In either case, I have been introduced to so many beautiful pockets of sunshine and snowfall thanks to the show. It is great advertising for the hotels and locations around the world, but the show also acts as a quick and alluring travel guide for the couch potatoes who indulge — including myself. Hometowns introduce the viewer and the Bachelorette to the man's family. On no other show will you see a more candid, un-cinematic relationship between a grown man and his mother. It can be uncomfortable, but more often, it is endearing and humanizing. Imagine this man having drinks at the bar with his friends discussing a chick he banged and the mother who drives him nuts. Imagine that same man on this show: forced to be open, romantic, vulnerable, honest, loving for the women in his life. Not every family is a conventional nuclear unit, as was the case with Dean, whose entire family splintered eight years ago until the date of his hometown. These men were built from the foundation of family, so to witness the village that made him, as well as his interactions and proximity with said village, speaks volumes to the man's character development and internalized values. Yes, it is easy to call every slice of drama, affection, and romance as a gimmick manufactured by evil producers. I have watched enough episodes of Lifetime's Unreal to conclude the same conspiracies as many of you have, but as much as one can make fun of the show, one must also remember these are real human beings placed in a ridiculous setting. The condensation of the dating game, the transparency of the suitor's polygamy, the bottled atmosphere of boyfriends under one roof will likely make a contestant act crazier than he is in the "real world" wherein he is not subject to the same expectation of emotional expediency or alcohol consumption.
The Bachelorette exposes how each man (and Rachel) handles group dates, one-on- one's, hometowns, and two-on-one's — all situations that uniquely challenge a person more in a few weeks than in years-long relationships where the same deep questions about vulnerability or marriage are not discussed at the same rate, if ever. The show is ridiculous because the dates are extravagant and a woman is dating 25+ men simultaneously; however, not every contestant is ridiculous nor is he or she necessarily crazy. Rachel is the most intelligent Bachelorette I have seen thus far — even better than Jojo, for whom I wept tears of joy in her decision to choose Jordan. She challenges the men, interrogates them, allows them to open up, and treats every man as though he is the only one that matters in the moment: it is not impossible to fall in love in a few months if the conditions push two people to ask the right questions early on in order to filter out other incompatibilities. If one remains skeptical of the sleazy producers, then go ahead and watch the show through that lens. For example, after rose ceremonies, notice there is daylight behind the departed contestant with whom the producers conduct the exit interview. This means the "rose ceremony" lasted all through the night, and ended at sunrise. This is a strenuous, long night in which alcohol and emotions dangerously mixed and circulated in the mansion. Not only can the viewer attain a more thorough understanding of production behind the scenes, but he or she can also garner empathy and understanding for the contestants. Notice if a contestant is slurring his words, crying uncharacteristically hard, acting "crazier" than you would in a situation — try to understand why. This scavenger hunt is one of understanding. Don't fall for the "coming up" previews that precede commercial breaks, for almost every single one is falsely advertised or skewed. Listen for unnatural cuts during a contestant's interview insinuating that his line was cut up and edited by the show producers. Differentiate men who want to win the game/fame and win the girl. The show has done a cunning job exaggerating, omitting, implanting, and influencing the truth, no doubt; however, the character and relationship developments are what truly drive the show surrounding petty, surrounding drama or silly, inconsequential, albeit funny cuts to quirky elements of the season (say, Ashley S. from Chris Soule's season or Adam's horrifying dummy from Rachel's season). Rachel genuinely believes she can find her husband if she plays the game right. I can tell she believes that past contestants have failed to find love because they did not immerse themselves in this process or in each relationship fairly. She takes the journey seriously and makes the hasty decisions that she does, not because she is naive, but because she believes in the journey ahead. Be smart when you watch, and the show becomes smarter than you initially (and pretentiously) thought.
The Bachelorette exposes how each man (and Rachel) handles group dates, one-on- one's, hometowns, and two-on-one's — all situations that uniquely challenge a person more in a few weeks than in years-long relationships where the same deep questions about vulnerability or marriage are not discussed at the same rate, if ever. The show is ridiculous because the dates are extravagant and a woman is dating 25+ men simultaneously; however, not every contestant is ridiculous nor is he or she necessarily crazy. Rachel is the most intelligent Bachelorette I have seen thus far — even better than Jojo, for whom I wept tears of joy in her decision to choose Jordan. She challenges the men, interrogates them, allows them to open up, and treats every man as though he is the only one that matters in the moment: it is not impossible to fall in love in a few months if the conditions push two people to ask the right questions early on in order to filter out other incompatibilities. If one remains skeptical of the sleazy producers, then go ahead and watch the show through that lens. For example, after rose ceremonies, notice there is daylight behind the departed contestant with whom the producers conduct the exit interview. This means the "rose ceremony" lasted all through the night, and ended at sunrise. This is a strenuous, long night in which alcohol and emotions dangerously mixed and circulated in the mansion. Not only can the viewer attain a more thorough understanding of production behind the scenes, but he or she can also garner empathy and understanding for the contestants. Notice if a contestant is slurring his words, crying uncharacteristically hard, acting "crazier" than you would in a situation — try to understand why. This scavenger hunt is one of understanding. Don't fall for the "coming up" previews that precede commercial breaks, for almost every single one is falsely advertised or skewed. Listen for unnatural cuts during a contestant's interview insinuating that his line was cut up and edited by the show producers. Differentiate men who want to win the game/fame and win the girl. The show has done a cunning job exaggerating, omitting, implanting, and influencing the truth, no doubt; however, the character and relationship developments are what truly drive the show surrounding petty, surrounding drama or silly, inconsequential, albeit funny cuts to quirky elements of the season (say, Ashley S. from Chris Soule's season or Adam's horrifying dummy from Rachel's season). Rachel genuinely believes she can find her husband if she plays the game right. I can tell she believes that past contestants have failed to find love because they did not immerse themselves in this process or in each relationship fairly. She takes the journey seriously and makes the hasty decisions that she does, not because she is naive, but because she believes in the journey ahead. Be smart when you watch, and the show becomes smarter than you initially (and pretentiously) thought.