The Log of the Black Pearl (1975 TV Movie)
6/10
Bienvenidos, Amigos!
21 June 2017
Warning: Spoilers
It's kind of fun to see the men running around in Mazatlan with their bell bottom trousers and their 1970s coiffures. But as in most made-for-TV movies, it's carelessly done. All the men are clean shaven by the production companies hair dresser. The men are given complexions suggesting they were embalmed shortly before shooting began. The story is a fairy tale about a brigantine called Black Pearl and a hunt for treasure off the Mexican coast. It's a variation on a theme established by Robert Louis Stevenson's "Treasure Island," in which the ship carries some bad guys as well as good.

Five of the performers know how to act: Ralph Bellamy as an archetypal old salt, Pedro Armendariz Jr. as a low-echelon heavy, Jack Kruschen stuck in the wrong role, Henry Wilcoxin who only has half a dozen lines, and Anne Archer who's exquisite no matter the role and no matter that she hasn't yet developed her acting chops. Kiel Martin is the handsome young hero. The team set out to find a hidden stash of Nazi gold on the bottom of the ocean off Puerta Vallart, once a tiny village on the west coast of Mexico with a population of three, not counting goats and pericolos, until John Huston shot "Night of the Iguana" there, after which it became an exclusive resort.

The production radiates TV-movie values, with flat lighting, tinny music, and lines delivered more or less mechanically, although not without some occasional sparkle. When Bellamy helps Krushchen as Jocko don his deep-sea diver suit and lower himself into the water, Kiel turns to Bellamy and remarks, "I've never had a close friend in my life." The plain-spoken old salt frowns and replies, "What brought THAT on?" Martin: "Watching you and Jocko." It's a surprising exchange. It illuminates character without advancing the plot one millimeter. And actually I don't know how anyone can stand being in that rubber suit and metal helmet on board a ship, never mind underwater. I had a spell of panic just wearing a gas mask.

Surprise though. Somebody else got to the gold first and took off with it. And instead of further pursuit of unknown strangers, Kiel Martin shrugs his shoulders. To hell with it. They set sail for Tahiti. It's an odd climax. No violence, no triumphs, Martin doesn't get the gold or the girl, nobody's head gets pulled out of its socket. It took guts to greenlight this movie, which ends without tragedy or triumph.
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