The Great Wall (I) (2016)
4/10
The Great White Hope Saves The Day! Thank God He Didn't Kiss Her...
24 March 2017
Warning: Spoilers
Well, where to begin? Everything I feared about this movie came true. I did't think it would be as blatantly "white savior" as it was. It was almost worse that they made hero #2 a Chinese woman. It was just so typical.

Chinese people SHOULD be offended by this movie.Rightly so.

Matt Damon looks out of place as the great white warrior. His character tries to tone down the savior bit with personal flaws and the "I'm not all that great". It's short lived. Before you know it, he's doing tricks with bows and arrows like you might see in a Wild West show.

What I liked: Much Chinese dialog. Plenty of proud Chinese moments (however it seemed forced like the movie had to or it would face an even bigger backlash). Even though the secondary hero was a Chinese female and it felt obligatory and like pandering, at least she was strong and a good actress. They didn't show a love interest between the western man and the Chinese warrior female, Thank God. I would have barfed. I kept saying "Don't kiss her! Don't kiss her!" I am glad she didn't find him attractive or made any kind of move on him, as so many white male fantasy movies show minority (minority in the U.S.) women doing. It's stupid, and not realistic.

What I didn't like: The CGI. It sucked. The monsters aren't very scary, and there is too much motion blur which means they covered up a lack of good CGI. Common trick, but usually when the budget is smaller. I'm not sure why they had such bad work in this major motion picture. I didn't like the premise. It probably looked good on paper, but it was a stupid reason for them to end up in China. Most of the dialog was in Chinese, but the writing wasn't very sophisticated. There was some stupidity in the writing. The also made the Chinese Emperor look like a scared fool. That wasn't necessary. Even visiting the Emperor's palace was an odd thing to add in. Seemed really out of place. I know they felt they needed a secondary location, but it was forced and an odd choice, in my opinion.

Was this a waste of time? Yes, but I was intending on wasting time anyway, so I wasn't angry. Should you see it? Maybe, if only to see Matt Damon in a wig. And if you think Chinese women are awesome, which I do. If you do see it though, be sure not to pay too much. It's not worth the full admission price.
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