3/10
Death Do Us Part
8 December 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Basic mediocre slasher flick has shady Ryan and nervous wedding obsessed fiancé, Kennedy, driving with friends/acquaintances in SUV to wilderness cabin, rented after answering Craigslist ad from intense and brooding creep, Bo. Kennedy's sister, Hannah, is seen by Kennedy's gal pal, Emily, getting it from behind while hugging a tree from Ryan, realizing just how much of a mistake this marriage would be. Meanwhile Derrick, a chain-smoking, drug-dealing, no-good rotter from Ryan's past has came along, but his intentions are selfish and desperate: he needs 20 G's from Ryan and brings up past reckless behavior as a weapon to use against the upcoming marriage. Chet is the typical slasher booger with six pack abs, obnoxious frat boy self-serving sex-on-the-mind personality, always either aiming to get laid or goofing off. Emily really considers her friendship with Kennedy important and when she's told Ryan and her are moving to New York it doesn't go over well. Okay, the synopsis out of the way, this is very driven by providing a lot of plot and delivering very little in terms of exciting action. Ryan and Kennedy are doomed to fail and it's obvious from the get go. Yet the film spends an inordinate amount of time getting us to the implosion. Anyone besides naive Kennedy can see that Ryan is a prick. He's immediately spotlighted by the film as untrustworthy and scheming. That Derrick is a friend considering how much of a tool he is should tell others all they need to know. Hannah is jealous of Kennedy because daddy preferred her and purposely bangs Ryan out of spite. Emily is just waiting to spill the beans on that cruel union behind her buddy's back. Chet loves to scare the ladies or get in their pants. Bo lurks, snarls, and warns them not to party in his house...why these people decide to stay anyway is baffling. So a class act cast that start to fall prey to a killer, are taken out one at a time, and few will care. Fingers from a hand are chopped off and bodies are stabbed but the graphic violence is not shot or explicitly nauseating. This doesn't kill them as many viewers might desire considering how much time is spent with them before the killer emerges. I think the film follows closely to how slashers are, complete with red herring and unsurprising twist of who the killer really is. Because the camera drives towards a certain character but doesn't show her die, and how Bo is even shown with ax in hand, but never killing anybody, the direction of the film goes through the motions slasher fans see right through. If anyone believes that woman in the dress at the beginning is Kennedy should watch more slashers.
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