Octopus (2000 Video)
3/10
Terrorist thriller meets ludicrous giant monster movie
6 September 2016
Warning: Spoilers
Just one of many new, lower-budgeted B-movies, designed to resemble the classic '50s monster movies of old and generally involving some creature or monster animated by the spanking new process of CGI. OCTOPUS is a travesty, a moronic movie full of brainless characters, appalling dialogue and more holes than a lump of Swiss cheese. Yet, it remains oddly enjoyable. Why, I wonder? The pacing is fast, for a start, and the plot is a chock with action. Not content with just providing a straightforward giant monster movie, the writer throws in an action-thriller angle involving a major terrorist being transported to America on board the submarine. You know, just like in TURBULENCE, PASSENGER 57, and two dozen other movies from the '90s.

Sadly the terrorist angle of the plot is more annoying than anything, due to the hero's reluctance to kill the man. On numerous occasions he is quite in his rights to shoot the man dead – after all, the terrorist kills about a dozen people (off screen), has blown up nine embassies, and is a real creep. But our wimpish, loathsome, baby-faced hero just can't bring himself to pull the trigger. The fourth time this happens is extremely aggravating. So the terrorist – played by overacting Russian actor Ravil Issyanov – is kept alive, despite the rest of the crew dying.

The story is pathetic and rips off about ten movies as it goes along. In fact everything that happens is a cliché and there is not one surprise to be had. To tie up loose plot ends they just blow up stuff in big, cheesy, unrealistic CGI explosions. Speaking of CGI, the octopus itself is very fake-looking, just like the computer animation that it is. Even the epic scenes at the end of it attacking the (CGI) cruise liner are just poor despite their scale. Check out the ALIEN-inspired extendable mouth on the beast, just another unrealistic element of an already ludicrous movie.

Jay Harrington actually seems to be a halfway decent actor. It's just a shame his lead character is such a lousy coward that the audience will be willing him to die. David Beecroft is the stereotypical captain, suicidal and failed, who redeems himself by acts of heroism. Then there's Carolyn Lowery as a marine biologist. We're introduced to Lowery as she plays strip poker with the crew, later on she is required by the plot to strip to her underwear on numerous occasions. No nudity, of course, this being a PG-13 film, but she's there solely to give the film some glamour content. Other token characters include crew members who suffer breakdowns and commit suicide or flee (such drama doesn't really belong in a supposedly cheap and cheerful B-movie) and the black guy who gets unsurprisingly killed.

Other amusing incidents in the film include: bad guys taking over a cruise liner (easier than you think) just so they can rescue the terrorist from the sub; the octopus searching the sub for food without the sub actually flooding; and the numerous cliff-hanger situations that are resolved unrealistically and without any intelligence. OCTOPUS is a film where the writer treats the audience as idiots and makes little effort to tie everything together. Instead he is happy to throw in more clichés to wring out every little bit of drama and excitement. In fact the best bit of the film is the chase scene which opens it; ironically it has nothing to do with octopuses (octupii?) or mutated monsters. Check out the last shot, which shows the hero has escaped from an underwater explosion despite the fact we saw him crash the submersible into it seconds before and there being no possible way for him to be alive.
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