stanrogersmith Review of The Lost Legion

The Lost Legion (2014)

For the Love of Caesar's Ghost, Don't Bother with this Abomination

[1/10 · 10 June 2016]

Holy sh*t is all I can say. I love Roman history and will watch pretty much anything "Roman", however after this turd I just want to slit my throat with a gladius. Within minute one when the Roman "legion" made up of 6 yes count 'em 6 Roman soldiers, some dude without armor on a horse, and some chick in a covered wagon, are making their way through the forest and the natives are looking to ambush them, I just knew this was gonna be a real piece of horse turd. Then the slow motion fighting. Guys being thown in every direction, the chick from the wagon cutting peoples throats, then "victory" and the 6 idiots all cheer and congratulate themselves. Hahahahaha. What a lame-ass opening. Now, cut to a scene of some conniving bitch trying to manipulate her stupid husband to somehow betray Rome and ascend her to some prominent position. Next, cue her little bitch of a son who wants to have his slave servant executed for beating him at checkers. What. The. F.ck? Next we are treated to some really bad soft core porn. But at least the chicks had some nice boobies for voyeuring. At about this point I said what the heck, if I want real porn, I'll just put that on. I fast forwarded a bit hoping to see if there would be a battle with more than 6 legionaries. But there wasn't. I said "Eff this" and turned the t.v. off. Don't waste your time.