4/10
Tedious, trite cautionary tale for wannabe models with belated horror elements
3 April 2016
"Snapshot" is like one of those pretend-cautionary tales churned out in England in the '70s about the dangers of whatever flashy lifestyle teens have probably heard about on the news. See "Groupie Girl", "Cool it Carol", and a bunch of other things directed by the likes of Pete Walker for some examples.

The hilarious thing about these movies was that they were always at least as exploitative as the practices and individuals they were supposed to be condemning.

"Snapshot" continues this fine trend in international cinema. There was no reason to make it except to show a very young Sigrid Thornton topless, and there is no reason to watch it except to see a very young Sigrid Thornton topless.

The movie is some nonsense about a struggling hair dresser who is thrown out of home by her bitchy mother but is then offered big money to be a model. She does one topless photo shoot, is promised many more, but the phone stops ringing unless she submits to the sleazy wiles of another photographer and finally her lesbian-in-disguise best friend.

With twenty minutes to spare, the movie remembers it is supposed to be a horror flick, perhaps because it doesn't know how else to resolve the dilemma it poses for the heroine other than killing off a bunch of the characters.

All the finger wagging, this is what happens when you dare to dream big stuff is so tedious and trite you will just be waiting for it to be over. The sleazy photographer guy invites Thornton over to his house for a nice dinner - just the two of them. But wait, he wants to take photos, and he wants her to take off her clothes! There is at least one good piece of advice in there for any model wannabes: if a photographer tells you to take off your clothes but is so desperate to sound classy that he asks you in French, you're really in trouble.

The horror stuff at the end also sucks. There is no attempt at scares or suspense or tension. It's just a boring forced ending, though you can't help but smile at someone getting run over by their own Mr Whippy van.
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