by Dane Youssef
IT'S THE KIND OF THING that happened all the time back in those days. And by such, I mean that they had these sort of tales in books, movies, magazines and tales around a roaring campfire. They were everywhere at the time. The whole "It's A Wonderful Life" gimmick applying to some product or device. Ordinary average people cursing the frustration of some product—and wished it away with all their heart.
A man in the glorious year of 1940 is simply tired of looking at springs when he has to fix the busted couch in his home. He misses a golf game with his buddies. Fed up with even so much as the sight of springs, he utters those words that a lot of the folk in these things would utter: "I wish I'd never been born—er, I mean I wish this particular substance doesn't existence anymore!" Then right on cue, a little Jiminy Cricket-like cartoon conscience-like character pops up — obnoxiously cheerful and perky. He's literally a cartoon spring—goes by the moniker of "Coily the Spring Sprite." Why bother wishing upon a star?
And we then have to witness how every product that uses this substance just instantly falls apart. He wishes that "I never have to look at a spring as long as I live." And every product with a spring in it now simply doesn't. Little "Coily the Spring Sprite" casts a spell sending all the springs in the dear man's life away. Forever and ever Well, no. Just until our hero wises up. Not even a full minute, I think.
Our hero, after getting the inevitable good fortune to un-wish a world free of the burden of springs, is a changed man. He is now over the moon that springs exist. And when he's finally able to play a game of golf with his buddies, he kills on the golf course. His game puts theirs to shame—while he bores and irritates them to tears by talking about the importance and usage to springs. His pals p It's like he just had a near-death experience. He becomes the spokesman for spring use. Well, thanks Mr Hey, you know they never gave us his name.
Jam Handy made a nice little string of films to let you know how important and life-crucial the products he and his company was cranking out were.
Jam Handy wants you to know damn well they're making a product that's as important to life on this planet as water—as oxygen itself. OK, OK, OK. Springs serve a vital purpose. Point made. But we knew that already.
How good it is? Oh, it needs to be seen. Why? Because the good people at the affiliate of "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" gave it a good once-over. Now we've all heard that immortal expression metaphor more than one point in our lifetime: "You can't turn a sow's ear into a silk purse." I mean how do you do that? Well, you can turn literal you-know-what into grade A+++ fertilizer. And that's what "MST3K" always did. Hell, it's what everyone seems to be doing nowadays. Huh. We're all living in a very good time.
"A CASE OF SPRING FEVER" is pretty much pure camp entirely laughable all by itself. We might not even have needed our beloved angels of salvation from "MST3K" to roast it at the stake. But I say we should be grateful they showed up anyway. Hell, no one in this day and age would have seen this now- embarrassingly tacky educational ad newsreel if the "MST3K" band hadn't had their way with it. God Bless them. And everyone else bless them too.
But our beloved friends, our guardian angels the boys at MST3K give it the essential treatment it deserves.
--Now Fully Realizing The Importance of Springs, Nostalgia and Spoof, Dane Youssef
IT'S THE KIND OF THING that happened all the time back in those days. And by such, I mean that they had these sort of tales in books, movies, magazines and tales around a roaring campfire. They were everywhere at the time. The whole "It's A Wonderful Life" gimmick applying to some product or device. Ordinary average people cursing the frustration of some product—and wished it away with all their heart.
A man in the glorious year of 1940 is simply tired of looking at springs when he has to fix the busted couch in his home. He misses a golf game with his buddies. Fed up with even so much as the sight of springs, he utters those words that a lot of the folk in these things would utter: "I wish I'd never been born—er, I mean I wish this particular substance doesn't existence anymore!" Then right on cue, a little Jiminy Cricket-like cartoon conscience-like character pops up — obnoxiously cheerful and perky. He's literally a cartoon spring—goes by the moniker of "Coily the Spring Sprite." Why bother wishing upon a star?
And we then have to witness how every product that uses this substance just instantly falls apart. He wishes that "I never have to look at a spring as long as I live." And every product with a spring in it now simply doesn't. Little "Coily the Spring Sprite" casts a spell sending all the springs in the dear man's life away. Forever and ever Well, no. Just until our hero wises up. Not even a full minute, I think.
Our hero, after getting the inevitable good fortune to un-wish a world free of the burden of springs, is a changed man. He is now over the moon that springs exist. And when he's finally able to play a game of golf with his buddies, he kills on the golf course. His game puts theirs to shame—while he bores and irritates them to tears by talking about the importance and usage to springs. His pals p It's like he just had a near-death experience. He becomes the spokesman for spring use. Well, thanks Mr Hey, you know they never gave us his name.
Jam Handy made a nice little string of films to let you know how important and life-crucial the products he and his company was cranking out were.
Jam Handy wants you to know damn well they're making a product that's as important to life on this planet as water—as oxygen itself. OK, OK, OK. Springs serve a vital purpose. Point made. But we knew that already.
How good it is? Oh, it needs to be seen. Why? Because the good people at the affiliate of "Mystery Science Theatre 3000" gave it a good once-over. Now we've all heard that immortal expression metaphor more than one point in our lifetime: "You can't turn a sow's ear into a silk purse." I mean how do you do that? Well, you can turn literal you-know-what into grade A+++ fertilizer. And that's what "MST3K" always did. Hell, it's what everyone seems to be doing nowadays. Huh. We're all living in a very good time.
"A CASE OF SPRING FEVER" is pretty much pure camp entirely laughable all by itself. We might not even have needed our beloved angels of salvation from "MST3K" to roast it at the stake. But I say we should be grateful they showed up anyway. Hell, no one in this day and age would have seen this now- embarrassingly tacky educational ad newsreel if the "MST3K" band hadn't had their way with it. God Bless them. And everyone else bless them too.
But our beloved friends, our guardian angels the boys at MST3K give it the essential treatment it deserves.
--Now Fully Realizing The Importance of Springs, Nostalgia and Spoof, Dane Youssef