So much promise in this movie. It looked like one of those gems that you accidentally discover and are excited to watch. You know the ones with the "Best of Berlin Film Festival 2010" or some other cool sounding awards. These awards are always surrounded with the two laurel leaves on the bottom. So you say, "Hey! This thing has a bunch of these darn tooting awards lining the front cover. Matter of fact, it's a veritable forest of laurel leaves up there! Honey, get the weedwacker and let's watch this thing!!!"
I guess it was a very slow year with little competition when they gave those awards out as this movie only deserves one: Biggest Disappointment of Any Movie I Have Ever Watched for Free on Comcast Streampix®.
Looking at the cover and reading the description, one might think it is like the Cube, or Saw or even that indie 2008 Russian movie "Elevator" (find it if you haven't seen it - great flick). But you would be wrong. Iron Doors is a sorely misconceived, poorly acted, very poorly cast, silly, pretentious slog that takes itself far too seriously. At least half the movie consists of one foul-mouthed main character swearing in his German-lite accent about what he is going to do to whomever put him behind these "damned Iron Doors!" Though he is supposedly an "investment banker," he's just as stupid as they come. I'm talking "you are guaranteed to be screaming at your TV" stupid. As an example, he is given a professional-grade two-part welder's torch able to cut through many inches of solid steel. "Great, this movie should be over very soon," you might say. Not so fast. Even though he supposedly puts together $100 million dollar business deals in his spare time, he doesn't understand that a blue flame (one with lots of oxygen from the oxygen tank) is hotter than a yellow flame (too little oxygen). So he tries to cut through the Iron Door with a yellow flame. Of course, it only creates a carbon mark on the door. Duh. I believe the truth behind this is that the cheap-o producers knew that a blue flame would actually cut through their set door so they had to keep the character artificially dumb and have him keep the flame yellow. OK, fine. BUT . . . within a few minutes, he finally figures out how to get a blue flame and is slicing through steel rebar like it's margarine. Let's see now. Blue flame + steel rebar = cut rebar. So if I go back to the steel door with the blue flame it will easily cut through . . . FREEDOM!" Sorry folks. That takes an intelligent character and professional writing. Only amateurs here. HE NEVER GOES BACK TO CUT THE IRON DOOR! Really? I could go on and on with this character's abject stupidity and doing things that no person in the history of mankind would ever do.
Poorly conceived, poorly written, no back story, no connection or empathy to actor, no character development, poor understanding of the most basic tenets of the Christian faith (along with heaven, hell and sin) that it is supposedly based on.
Don't waste your time. Watch Cube, Saw, Elevator (2008) or almost any other movie for more entertainment.
I guess it was a very slow year with little competition when they gave those awards out as this movie only deserves one: Biggest Disappointment of Any Movie I Have Ever Watched for Free on Comcast Streampix®.
Looking at the cover and reading the description, one might think it is like the Cube, or Saw or even that indie 2008 Russian movie "Elevator" (find it if you haven't seen it - great flick). But you would be wrong. Iron Doors is a sorely misconceived, poorly acted, very poorly cast, silly, pretentious slog that takes itself far too seriously. At least half the movie consists of one foul-mouthed main character swearing in his German-lite accent about what he is going to do to whomever put him behind these "damned Iron Doors!" Though he is supposedly an "investment banker," he's just as stupid as they come. I'm talking "you are guaranteed to be screaming at your TV" stupid. As an example, he is given a professional-grade two-part welder's torch able to cut through many inches of solid steel. "Great, this movie should be over very soon," you might say. Not so fast. Even though he supposedly puts together $100 million dollar business deals in his spare time, he doesn't understand that a blue flame (one with lots of oxygen from the oxygen tank) is hotter than a yellow flame (too little oxygen). So he tries to cut through the Iron Door with a yellow flame. Of course, it only creates a carbon mark on the door. Duh. I believe the truth behind this is that the cheap-o producers knew that a blue flame would actually cut through their set door so they had to keep the character artificially dumb and have him keep the flame yellow. OK, fine. BUT . . . within a few minutes, he finally figures out how to get a blue flame and is slicing through steel rebar like it's margarine. Let's see now. Blue flame + steel rebar = cut rebar. So if I go back to the steel door with the blue flame it will easily cut through . . . FREEDOM!" Sorry folks. That takes an intelligent character and professional writing. Only amateurs here. HE NEVER GOES BACK TO CUT THE IRON DOOR! Really? I could go on and on with this character's abject stupidity and doing things that no person in the history of mankind would ever do.
Poorly conceived, poorly written, no back story, no connection or empathy to actor, no character development, poor understanding of the most basic tenets of the Christian faith (along with heaven, hell and sin) that it is supposedly based on.
Don't waste your time. Watch Cube, Saw, Elevator (2008) or almost any other movie for more entertainment.