Review of Collar

Collar (2014)
1/10
I've seen the future of horror, and its not Ryan Nicolson.
20 January 2015
Well I just had the pleasure of witnessing Collar by Mr Nicolson. and I'm actually thinking of joining some submissive internet groups now, because even though I've seen, and hated every single film by our Ryan, I still watched and suffered one more. Another total poopfest, with horrible acting, and a plot seemingly written by a 12yr old boy. Even the gore sucked danglies. I really don't know now who this guy makes films for, maybe its his family and hangers on (pardon the pun) who keep convincing him that he's great, but personally I don't think he could direct a starving man to a banquet.

I'm old enough to remember going into video stores and hiring movies purely on the gory cover (and pictures on the back) and honestly, I rented out some real stinkers back then, but I thought that kind of terrible horror movie was gone in 2015, seems not though. That said, Ryan's groupies (I shall call them the Knicolheads) will probably still love it, (just like 9yr olds love One Direction, Ryan has his 12yr olds) and I personally can't wait to chastise myself some more with the upcoming Gutterballs 2.

Or perhaps not.

:-D
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