Review of The Minion

The Minion (1998)
1/10
Terrible - One of Lundgren's worst movies
28 December 2014
I appreciate the fact that Lundgren tried to do something different for his image with this movie. I understand that he wanted to explore some new (for him) cinematic territory – a horror movie. Unfortunately this movie is just SO bad that I can't think of any redeeming quality in it.

I simply can't believe that they spent 12 million $ on this movie. By the way it looks it couldn't cost more than 1000 $. OK , so the artifacts looked authentic enough to pass for medieval or Gothic period pieces. Where did they spent all the money ? That's a mystery more intriguing than the whole movie.

Dolph Lundgren in this movie plays a tough guy priest ! He is simply unconvincing and gives one of worst performances in his career. He also delivers some of the worst dialogues in his career. The rest of the actors is bad too. The movie is awfully directed. There is no suspense and the pacing is very awkward and sluggish. If you're counting on some fun action scenes you'll be disappointed. The fights are badly choreographed and shot. I've seen better fights in amateurish movies… The story rips off "Fallen" and "End of days" , but that's the smallest problem. The authors couldn't even get the dates right (The Knights Templar did not even exist until the early 12th century). The story is stupid and pathetic.

It's a snoozefest. I give it 1/10.
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