Review of Jessabelle

Jessabelle (2014)
4/10
"What did you say? She was black?!?"
27 December 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Disappointing mystery-thriller that fails utterly as a horror movie (which, from the marketing, I assumed it was). It's not a terribly original movie. There will be plenty of things you see coming a mile away. It also peddles in clichés and stereotypes. It takes place in the South so, per the Hollywood rule book, there has to be a black/white conflict in the story. More specifically, since it takes place in Louisiana, the same Hollywood rule book dictates all the black people practice voodoo. Heaven forbid we try to play against these clichés in 2014. Oh and nobody has a convincing Southern accent here. I guess they watched some episodes of Designing Women and figured they'd nailed it. Sarah Snook does okay but with her big eyes and permanently open mouth, it does make it hard to take her seriously when the movie needs you to. On the plus side, she does display some nice cleavage throughout the movie. So thanks for that.

Hated the stuff with the tapes her mom made for her. These scenes have the same air of implausibility that most found footage movies do. It's just unbelievable that someone would do stupid things like make a video of themselves crying and telling their unborn baby "you're already dead." Or my favorite: "You don't know where you are. You don't know who you are. You don't know s**t." While I'm bitching about things, who digs up a grave in the swamp at night just out of curiosity? Then, once they've done that and found a coffin, who opens it? Freaks, that's who. Whatever the movie has going for it (and there isn't much), it all falls apart in one of the worst endings in recent movie history. It's so dumb and the way Sarah Snook acts will make you laugh out loud. If taken remotely seriously, it's actually kind of offensive. And since the filmmakers saw fit to exploit race for a cheap "horror" flick, I'd say you're well within your rights to be offended.
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