Review of Vamp

Vamp (1986)
5/10
Watchable but it really should have been more outrageous.
31 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Dumb teen sex comedies centered around high school or college students were big in the 80s and vampire films were starting to see a big resurgence thanks to several surprise hits in the subgenre, so VAMP was a no-brainer green light for its time. It has since fallen through the cracks and it's pretty easy to see why. It failed to come close to matching the commercial and critical success of FRIGHT NIGHT (1985) or THE LOST BOYS (1987), wasn't stylish enough to rope in the artsy-fartsy crowd like THE HUNGER (1983), wasn't inventive and atmospheric enough to gain a cult following similar to that of NEAR DARK (1987) and couldn't even retrospectively be viewed through the rose-colored nostalgia glasses like THE MONSTER SQUAD (1987) because it's not quite charming enough. Not that this is a bad film per se; it just happens to be "just OK" in most areas while never really excelling at anything.

Dipsa Phi fraternity pledges Keith (Chris Makepeace, from MEATBALLS) and AJ (Robert Rusler, from A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 2) talk themselves out of a silly hazing ceremony by agreeing to get anything the frat needs for an upcoming party. That turns out to be a stripper and, since they're living in a small town, strippers require a two hour drive into Los Angeles to acquire. The problem? Neither of them has a car. They're then forced to enlist the aid of the friendless, extremely annoying and pathetic try-hard Duncan Spriggs (Gedde Watanabe) to get them there. Duncan agrees in exchange for a week's worth of their friendship (?!), which may make this 'comic' depiction of an Asian- American even more offensive than Watanabe's turn as "Long Duk Dong" in SIXTEEN CANDLES. The three guys finally arrive in L.A., have a run in with albino gang leader Snow (Billy Drago) at a diner and finally make it to the "After Hours Club" in once piece.

After viewing a truly strange performance art strip act by exotic club owner / star attraction Katrina (Grace Jones), AJ gets permission to go to her dressing room to discuss employing her for the frat party. He doesn't return. Keith eventually realizes that nearly the entire strip club, including the emcee (Sandy Baron), the bouncer (Brad Logan) and most of the dancers are actually vampires. They usually prey on vagrants, bums and other people no one will miss, but this time they've made a mistake with AJ and now must cover their tracks by eliminating all evidence he was there. Since Keith himself is part of that evidence, he teams up with an excessively perky non-vampire waitress / dancer (Dedee Pfeiffer) and basically just tries to survive the "wacky" night.

I've seen numerous people question Grace Jones' sex appeal as the sultry queen bee vampire who runs things. Sure, she's not for everyone, but in my opinion she is the only truly memorable aspect of this entire movie. The former model turned singer and actress doesn't utter a single word in the film but manages to be both intimidating and creepy thanks to her offbeat demeanor, ultra-bizarre Egyptian-themed wardrobe choice and androgynous facial structure, which is made even more striking thanks to blue contact lenses, white face paint and a bright red wig. There's a good reason it was her image and her image alone that has been used to market the film over the years and if anything this film suffers most because she's underutilized and not on screen nearly as much as she should have been.

Aside from the presence of Jones, the makeup effects from Greg Cannom are good and the production values in general are adequate down the board. It's also VERY 80s and the whole film is shot through with a hideous neon pink and green lighting scheme. What is most surprising of all is just how restrained, unexciting and glib the whole thing is considering the premise involves vampires working out of a strip club. In other words, this would have been much better had it been a little more freewheeling and uninhibited than it is. This same idea would be done much better later on in FROM DUSK TILL DAWN (1996).
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