Werewolf (1995 Video)
6/10
Is it bad? Undeniably. Is it entertaining? Absolutely!
28 August 2014
Warning: Spoilers
What's to say about this film that hasn't already been said by comedians and reviewers far more talented than I? No two ways about it, this movie is so schlocky that even Troma Entertainment might not have touched it. The acting, if you can call it that, is so stilted and wooden that you'd find more emotionally invested and dedicated performers in a middle school play. The hair and makeup department was so lax in their duties that they allowed an actor to have no fewer than 7 different hairstyles throughout the entire film, often changing from scene to scene or even shot to shot. There's a battle of dueling accents between the three leading actors so extreme in this film that it rivals Arnold Schwarzenegger and Brigitte Nielsen in "Red Sonja".

The werewolf/wurwolf/weerwuf, which doesn't officially make its appearance until the last 5 minutes of the film, looks less like a wolf and more like a melted-down Spencer's Gifts Halloween mask, stuck haphazardly with hair pulled from Yuri's hairbrush. The Duck Dynasty- looking butler or grounds-keeper (or whatever he is) is easily both the worst and best actor in this film, because it seems as though he knows how bad this movie is and as a result, he turns in a performance so phoned-in that it likely cost him long-distance and roaming fees. Conversely, Jorge Rivero's (Yuri)performance is far too sophisticated and distinguished than such a film calls for, making him stand out, but in a bad way, because he takes his role far more seriously than than anyone else involved took the film, kind of like a minor league badminton coach. Then, there's the female lead, Natalie. Wow. Her paradoxically heavy-lidded wide-eyed gaze throughout the entire film is mesmerizing in the sense that you're trying to place where she's from as your mind wanders, trying to picture what's going through her mind (if you could call it that) as she stares the way a cow would at an oncoming big rig, until you come to the ultimate conclusion that it's taking every ounce of what little talent she has to remember her lines in English that it depletes all other vital resources. The lead character, Paul, is probably the least memorable of the entire cast. I have more vivid memories of the pant-less Realtor(?), the long-haired Native American at the film's beginning, the Italian security guard, Richard Lynch and even Joe Estevez than of what's-his-face-Paul. Even when he finally becomes the werewolf/wurwolf/weerwuf, he's so bland, I'd just rather see someone else.

That said, I really enjoy this movie. I have a soft spot for schlocky B-movies that are so bad, they're good, and this one qualifies. You just have to know what you're getting yourself into in advance. It's surprisingly catchy and quotable. It's a great drinking game film (take a drink every time Yuri's hair is in a different style, take a drink during every continuity error, take a drink every time Natalie says "wurwolf", etc.). In short, it's a great film to watch with several like-minded friends. Just shut your brain off, pile on the popcorn and riff away.
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