4/10
Now where did I put my Fast Times DVD?
5 July 2014
I recently re-watched Paul Verhoeven's gloriously sleazy medieval epic Flesh + Blood, and was once again taken by just how hot Jennifer Jason Leigh was in the '80s. Keen to see a bit more of the actress in her prime (not that Flesh + Blood left much more of her to be seen!), and having already watched the hell out of my Fast Times at Ridgemont High DVD, I thought I'd give Heart of Midnight a go: the DVD cover depicts the actress on the cover wearing a very tight rubber lace-up dress, so it seemed like a good choice…

Sadly, Jennifer clad in kinky attire only makes a brief appearance in the film (right at the end) and isn't very indicative of the movie's content as a whole (it's not the first time a salacious promotional image has been used to dupe viewers). The bulk of this weird-as-hell thriller is about as sexy as a game of Monopoly (a normal game—NOT strip Monopoly!). Jennifer Jason Leigh plays Carol, a mentally fragile young woman who inherits a nightclub from her Uncle Fletcher, only to discover that it was actually a sex club that catered for swingers with unusual tastes. While overseeing the renovation of the building, Carol lives in one of the many rooms above, but suffers from strange visions and witnesses bizarre happenings. Is she starting to lose her marbles or is there a more sinister explanation for the strange occurrences?

The simple answer to that question is "Yes, there is a more sinister explanation for the strange occurrences", but in order to find out precisely what that is, one does have to trudge through an awful lot of sub-Lynchian weirdness that suggests a world of debauchery, degradation and depravity (the three De's) without ever having the balls to show it in any detail. Heart of Midnight wants to be daring, but never really succeeds. Finally, after lots of not very effective creepiness, only a fleeting glimpse of skin from Jennifer as she takes a shower, and some surreal imagery (the strangest moment being a giant eyeball crashing through a door), the film reveals its deep, dark secret, which is so lame that not even the eventual sight of JJL in her shiny, figure-hugging S&M dress makes it worthwhile.
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