5/10
Half enjoyable pish
4 March 2014
Warning: Spoilers
Warning: Spoiler, if 'spoiler' means that warning you that the ending of the film makes no sense spoils anything.

This loopy, cheese-ball pile of gumpf involves the Chinese having a Doomsday device (discovered by a girl throwing a cat at a dog for real) and then us cutting to NASA, where a planned tripped to Venus is slightly altered to include three females. Why? No one is told just yet, but our seven astronauts head out into space, guided by Casey bloody Kasem, and shortly afterwards the Earth explodes in a craptastic display of bad effects.

Our seven 'heroes' are all shocked and stuff by this, and it becomes evident that the good old US of A had the foresight to have a mixed sex crew head for Venus and restart the human race. Let it slide that Venus has 2000 mph winds and a sulphuric acid atmosphere (they probably didn't know that when the film was made), and marvel instead at the interior of this ship, which is rainbow coloured inside for no reason whatsoever. Also try and ignore that various ships that are meant to present the one ship these people are in (or else you'll have a fit trying to figure it out).

Our crew involve three young guys (one a complete mental case), three 'young' women, and an old guy. Turns out that the Earth exploding has put a dampener on their plans to get to Venus as the radiation will render them sterile by the time they get there, so they'll have to lose four crew and a lot of baggage before they get there or else face having duff knackers! Luckily the mental case manages to kill himself and a girl in a botched sexual assault that involves an airlock and hilarious 'floating around' effects.

This is where the film suddenly decides the viewer is not worth actually giving a satisfying ending, as two of the crew end up stranded in space, find a Soviet module, and turn into completely different actors doing nothing but pressing buttons for ten minutes while nothing happens. Wait till you get a load of the non-ending! I'm not sure if telling you that the folks on Venus basically tell them to bolt and fire them into space will ruin the film for you or not, so I won't tell.

Hilariously, truly bad film so full of cheese it could be a stuffed crust pizza, with some endurance test sequences, awful effects, and general shabbiness. I kind of liked it, in a way.
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