Tales from the Crypt: Collection Completed (1989)
Season 1, Episode 6
8/10
"You're not going to kill that cat!!!"
24 December 2013
Warning: Spoilers
It's "crazy cat lady" vs "grumpy old man!" M.Emmet Walsh and Audrey Lindley both give performances that are really over-the-top yet somehow believable. It's set up so that you're not quite sure who's crazier, or who drove who crazy first! They make for a good, offbeat comedic team and play off one another very well, but to me it's the performance of Walsh that makes this episode. I really don't think the tone of it would've worked for a minute if it wasn't for him. I've always found the man to be a joy to watch in the stuff I've seen him in with his stressed-out old crank routine, always looking like he's about to keel over from a heart attack! And he's great here in his role of the classic old sourpuss who reacts badly to the life of forced retirement, berating his kind-hearted and gentle, yet not-quite-all-there-in-the-head wife for the hordes of animals she has took in and become mother to after years of loneliness with him being at work all the time. And in his boredom and rising anger at being treated no better than a dog, he begins to lose it a bit himself and decides to kill two birds with one stone by pouring all his frustrations over the unwanted animals into a macabre new hobby, and pushes his normally dotty but harmless wife too far when he destroys the only things she cares about, and she gets her own back by making a stuffing outta him! Ah, and then of course there's the priceless coo-coo bananas finale where she's finally gotten the nice, quiet and peaceful happy husband that she always wanted! The expression on the bloated thing's face looks oddly delighted! Urk, such a vile and utterly bizarre art form... I'll give one thing to old Jonas though - he was a much better taxidermist than his wife! ::: It's no wonder he flipped-out from the get go, all those animals running around would make anyone nuts. But, he was still a cruel jerk for doing that to helpless animals. And it's partly his fault for his wife becoming a hoarder. He neglected her. Just in case you wasn't aware, this was directed by Mary Lambert, who once directed the black as midnight chilling classic Pet Sematary. And I was surprised no one else mentioned this, but in one scene very near the end when "Anita" desperately searches her bedroom for her last surviving stray, the layout of the room and bed is strikingly similar to the one in which Fred Gwynne meets his nightmarish demise in that movie! This one barely feels like a Crypt offering at all, the vibe is so kooky and sitcom-like and almost surreal, and it's never really all dark or ominous, not even when Jonas starts taxidermying the pets! "I'm not an animal, I'm a human being!" Haha, he's so whiny and emotional when he gives that line, which was a very strange surprise reference to "The Elephant Man", that just comes straight out of nowhere! The only thing I disliked was the fat toothless old man who played the neighbour. I found him annoying, and his stupid, repulsive reaction almost ruins the effect of the ending! I've seen better, but this episode is a fairly good showcase for the series' dark humour. It's funny, somewhat horrific, and a little bit sad at the same time, leaving you with a weird feeling of..well not exactly being sure how to feel! And like a lot of the time on the way the stories end on this show, it makes you wonder what they will all do next... Pretty good but not great, and definitely not among the best. It's probably the weakest tale of the first season, but like all of them well worth seeing. Be seeing ya!
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