5/10
The Diminutive Duel Disappoints
5 November 2013
Warning: Spoilers
I'm not sure what inspired Charles Band to pair up Dollman and the Demonic Toys. Maybe neither rip-off proved popular enough to headline solo sequels. Either way, in 1993, the tiny titans faced off. For good measure, Ginger, the miniaturized nurse from 1992's "Bad Channels," is also thrown in. This is mostly so Brick Bardo can have an appropriately sized love interest. The two even get a little loving, sharing a sex scene in a kitchen drawer.

"Dollman vs. Demonic Toys" is cheaper then either original. Since Dollman is in-scale with the Toys, Tim Thomerson has to interact with oversized props, which look fine, or actors in cheesy costumes, which don't. The toy warehouse and kitchen sets, filled with giant accessories, are neat though. The cheapness comes from the extensive stock footage. Obviously, this fills in people who haven't seen the previous installments. Knowing penny-pinching Charlie Band though, this was mostly done to save cash. Band actually directs this one and his direction is flat and television-like. The box lists the film as 72 minutes long. This includes the ten-minute VideoZone and ten minutes of credits. The actual film is only 52 minutes long, barely classifying as a feature.

The diminutive duel disappoints. None of the toys prove a match for Brick, each blasted away with ease. A clumsy, bleeding hobo resurrects the evil playthings without further explanation. Grizzly Teddy is replaced with a killer G.I. Joe doll named Zombietoid. You wouldn't think this would matter but it does, especially since he goes down easily. Baby Oopsy-Daisy had an agreeably raspy voice first go-around. Here, Frank Welker provides the voice, a high-pitched, annoying nasally whine. None of the Baby's new dialogue is as amusing either. Half the runtime is wasted setting up the premise, painfully sealing away every plot point from each previous film. The Toy's plan proves half-baked, their demon master staying off-screen this time.

Thomerson sleep-walks through his role, obviously fed up with Full Moon's shenanigans at this point. Tracy Scoggins and her tight t-shirt return, just to die half-way through. The actress seems relieved to go. Full Moon's favorite short person Phil Fondacaro, who horror fans might recognize from "Land of the Dead" and, uh, "Double, Double, Toil and Trouble," plays the warehouse security guard. Like the previous one, he enjoys girlie magazines. Unlike the previous one, Phil kills hookers for the toys, a plot point that goes nowhere. Only Melissa Behr is on the material's level. She doesn't get naked but the movie never hesitates to put her in various skimpy outfits. I'm disappointed "Dollman vs. Demonic Toys" is so lackluster, considering the parent films were guilty pleasures. No wonder Brick Bardo and Ginger would never be seen again, the Demonic Toys not returning until Full Moon's recent, bad, cheap days.
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