ironhorse_iv Review of Drive Thru

Drive Thru (2007)

Drive Thru, more like drive back and return this satire movie back to the trash can. This killer clown movie is a joke.

[3/10 · 23 July 2013]

Wow I never thought for once in my life on God's green Earth, I have ever run into a horror movie about a Drive Thru Restaurant. I think I figure out the real inspiration for this mess of a film. The writers got some weed, ate some McDonalds, watched 1984's A Nightmare on Elm Street and then played some Twisted Metal video games and said "wow, that Sweet Tooth character guy is scary, let's make a movie about it". It's B slasher flick about a make believe fast food icon Horny the Clown killing people. Really? What kind of parent do you have to be to be willing to take your child to a restaurant with a clown mascot named Horney? I mean really. I want to know why the owner went with that name and why he named his restaurant Hellaburger? Yeah like I would want to take my children to a restaurant with that name and a clown mascot named Horney. I don't think so. The parody name is so bad. I know this is not a serious horror movie and it's not meant to be a serious horror movie, but still the movie plays serious in certain scenes. I loved how it turned into Lifetime Movie mode when the mother was telling the "sad" story about Horney. It's like they didn't know if they wanted to be scary, melodramatic or funny. Couldn't they be a little bit cleverer with this plot? If they wanted melodramatic, couldn't they just stop the parodying and take the movie serious. If you want to make humor, couldn't they had smarter humor rather lowering itself to this awful level? Just because it's satire, doesn't mean it's smart. This film is pretty stupid. It blows my mind that while Ronald McDonald is naturally creepy, a movie actually trying to make a clown scary comes off as pathetic at most, mildly annoying. It's doesn't scare me. I gotta say, this movie isn't impressive, but this is the best opening to any horror movie ever! I know the first deaths in a horror movie are meant to show how scary and dangerous the killer is, but you have no idea how much I hate gangsta people and how annoying these guys were from the moment we saw them on film. This movie is possibly one of the biggest instances in which I was absolutely rooting for the bad guy. Seriously, who actually wanted any of those victims to live? Even their parents were jerks. At least most of them die, I'll give the movie that. I dislike the movie for one of the main characters not dying off. It's the one who acts like she's better than the other upper class teens because she and her friends are all hip and now. You probably know who I'm talking about. Anyways, Horny are killing teenagers left and right because they were the children of the parents that cause his murder. If I remember correctly, the thing that caused Horny's death was a cruel prank gone bad by Leighton Meester's character's Mackenzie Carpenter's mother and her friends that accidentally lighted his party on fire and he died in the fire. The clown reminds me of the stupid logo for that stupid rap group Insane Clown Posse running another hacking off people with that hatchet. For all the juggalos and juggalettes, and twiztid's fan, you're music sounds pretty crappy. Talking about music. I have to say 'Inside the black' was interesting and best part of the film. Leighton Meester does sing in the movie. Her voice is very impressed, but I don't think it was satisfying. The metal music blazing by Ralph Rieckermann doesn't make it any more scary; it's doesn't sound heavy at all, it just sounds like noise that distract you from watching what is happening on screen. It was Intrusive metal music that is annoying like Doctor Rockso announcing he does cocaine in the TV Show Metalocalypse. Horny the Clown's has his stupid one liners, too. All of them are pretty bad puns. I do like the 1980's Shining reference. The kills are just cheap graphic gore. There is a laughable scene with a guy getting his face stuck in the deep fryer. The whole school chase with the microwave was enough to throw me in a coma from it's sheer stupidity and bad editing. You would have thought if somebody head blew up, you wouldn't see their head later on the film. One of the worst things about the film is why was Horney even giving clues to who he was going to kill next. Why did Mackenzie gets cryptic messages about the next victim, on her Ouija board, 8 ball, Etch-a-Sketch etc. All these items have nothing to do with the restaurant theme! The movie doesn't even bother explaining the whole unexplained thing with Horny possessing supernatural/demonic powers! How was he supposed to know that a year 2000's teenager MacKenzie would use those 1970's novelty items? That seem very unlikely MacKenzie would even know such things. The movie even had political subtext that went nowhere. One good thing about the film is the 2004's 'Super Size me' Director, Morgan Spurlock having a cameo. His scene was just really lame anyway mildly flirting with a girl then telling the stoners to stop being bad. Anyways, this straight-to-DVD movie isn't worth a rent and no way worth buying. Just borrow it from a friend if you really want to watch this film. I warn you, it's stupider than 1988's Killer Klowns from outer space and that's no joke.