7/10
Neanderthals prefer blondes
8 January 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Entertaining and surprisingly engaging, "The Clan of the Cave Bear" teaches us that there was a time when mankind was divided into two species. Type one – the Neanderthals – had big foreheads, dark hair and a monobrow, while type two – the Cro-Magnons – were tall, blonde and had great teeth.

Ayla, a Cro-Magnon child, is left for dead after being attacked by a lion. However she is found by a nomadic tribe of Neanderthals. They are reluctant to help at first as she belongs to a group they refer to as 'the others'– the Cro-Magnons. This is obvious from her blonde hair and the stylish cut of her animal skins, which also singles out the Cro-Magnons from the more shaggy-looking Neanderthals. A kindly Neanderthal male, Creb, talks the tribe into letting he and his wife Iza take the child with them.

Years pass and Ayla has become one of the Neanderthal tribe despite the fact she has grown tall, blonde and has great teeth. In fact, Ayla has become Daryl Hannah, and although she would have little trouble in reaching the finals of the Miss Cro-Magnon pageant, to the Neanderthals, she is quite ugly and decidedly forehead and eyebrow challenged.

Despite this, one of the young Neanderthal males, Broud, is attracted to her. No doubt, the way Ayla fills out her animal skins caught his eye. In Neanderthal culture, a desire to couple is indicated by the male clasping his hands; the deed then takes place without further ceremony. After Ayla responds to many handclasp signals from Broud, she falls pregnant.

Ayla is also a bit of a tomboy and wants to throw spears, use a slingshot and hang out with the guys target shooting. However this is taboo in Neanderthal culture; the punishment for a woman caught fooling around with the boy's toys is instant death. But Ayla becomes an expert with the slingshot. When a wolf carries off a young Neanderthal boy, Ayla brings the animal down with one shot. Her cover blown, she is forced to demonstrate her skill to the males who will decide her fate; they quickly realise that she has in fact become a prehistoric Annie Oakley with the slingshot.

Although she would normally face death, she is instead banished for the winter. She delivers the baby by herself and survives by using her hunting skills to catch food.

As the years pass, Iza and Cleb grow old and feeble, Ayla on the other hand does not change much at all, she retains her youthful appearance proving that an outdoor life free of smog and pollutants does wonders for Cro-Magnon skin. When the clan joins a great gathering of Neanderthals, another male disregards Ayla's lack of forehead and monobrow and takes a shine to her. This is Brun, and he is everything Broud is not; he is thoughtful, polite and chivalrous. Unfortunately he literally loses his head when the young men of the tribe attack a bear – showing how precarious existence was before the invention of the tranquilliser gun.

Broud becomes leader of the tribe, and his first act is to take Ayla as his wife. When he attempts to separate her from her child Dirk, Ayla refuses and fights him. The tribal elders come to her assistance. Broud is stripped of leadership of the clan as he has failed to uphold the tribe's charter on every possible level.

But now, Ayla, who has developed a markedly spiritual side to her character, decides that her destiny does not lie with the clan. She says goodbye to them all including her child, who is half Neanderthal and destined to become the leader of the clan. She is last seen heading towards the sunset to seek 'the others' to whom she feels she more rightly belongs.

The last scenes are quite moving. Identity and the feeling of belonging are dominant themes in the film. Anthropologists might question some of the liberties taken by the filmmakers, but "Clan of the Cave Bear" is one of those movies where the best thing is to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
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