Snowglobe (2007 TV Movie)
2/10
Dull and Awful
21 December 2012
Warning: Spoilers
Christina Milan AGAIN? Jeez, did she lose a bet or something? Anyway, this ABC Family original gets bonus points for having significantly less booze flowing about than others I have seen. Milan plays Angela Moreno, who lives in an apartment owned by her family and working in her family's butcher shop. Her mom is Italian and her dad is black, and her sister doesn't look anything but white. Whatever. Angie's family is worse than the "Worst Family in England" sketch that Monty Python did. Her family wanders in and out of her apartment putting whatever they feel like in there without so much as a glance in her direction, they make plans regarding her life without consulting her, and they leave when they feel like it and keep the volume on the TV as loud as they can stand it. There is even a subplot about her pregnant sister being treated better because she is married-to a deadbeat who shows no desire to actually get a job and take care of his growing family. Angie is- horror of horrors!- SINGLE! And in an ABC Family Christmas movie no less! There is one apartment in their building that has a frequent turnover as Angie's mom puts up young single men there to marry Angie off.

Okay, so there's this magic snowglobe. Angie shakes it and thinks about it and is transported inside to the pastoral village depicted therein. There just aren't any people who are more into Christmas than these folks...yet somehow they know nothing of Christ. This is a plot point. The people in the village are empty-headed, Pleasantville, Stepford Smiling, drones. Angie thinks this village is just TOPS. She spends more and more time there and time keeps on passing in the real world while she is there and finally when she isn't around to walk over, her family care, but just so they can guilt her about being inconsiderate. I'm serious here. She meets up with a guy there who shovels the snow and goes ice skating with a girl in town. Angie starts seeing him a bunch and makes the ice skater girl jealous. Angie also begins to build a relationship with the current "potential husband loft" resident who is an aspiring architect.

In the third act the snowglobe guy somehow comes out of the globe and wants to spend time with Angie in the real world, which prompts her to ask if he's having some sort of existential crisis knowing that he lives in a snowglobe and he doesn't bat an eye. The girlfriend shows up too, and forced drama all around, and the snowglobe falls and gets damaged, and I feel asleep a few times watching this one. Luckily Cheffiepie was there to fill me in.

They repair the snowglobe with pieces of other snowglobes and send everyone home, and she moves in with architect guy in the next apartment down the street and no one learns anything. God bless us, everyone! This movie is dull, annoying, and dull. I really hate this movie.
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