With a title like ATTACK OF THE BEAST CRETURES you're certainly not expecting CITIZEN KANE but even with very low expectations this is a dreadful movie and what let's it down is the technical aspects . " What technical aspects Theo? " Exactly . From the very opening frame of the film you know you're going to be watching a shipwreck of a movie
In fact everything about the film can be summed up by the opening . We have a totally inappropriate soundtrack played on a synthesiser . Michael Mann's THE KEEP also a bizarre soundtrack that feels it belongs to an entirely different movie but at least that film redeemed itself by some great cinematography and camera work . Here it seems the director took his mates on a day trip to the beach . Everything about the movie screams amateur film maker
Perhaps the most noticeable thing is the acting or rather the lack of it . I genuinely thought this was an Italian movie badly dubbed in to English . It's certain ly got that vibe where any emotion or inflexion in the voices is totally negated by other people calmly talking their lines as in " Oh no I'm being attacked by a horde of monsters mercy me " in the same sort of tone you'd expect someone to read out their laundry list
The only saving grace - and I'm being totally charitable here - is the eponymous beast creatures themselves . It would be very easy for the director to get a bunch of extras to don wigs and pretend to be flesh eating monsters . Here we have what effectively fairground gonks that attack the cast and who are less wooden than the cast which means this movie gets three out of ten instead of two out of ten
In fact everything about the film can be summed up by the opening . We have a totally inappropriate soundtrack played on a synthesiser . Michael Mann's THE KEEP also a bizarre soundtrack that feels it belongs to an entirely different movie but at least that film redeemed itself by some great cinematography and camera work . Here it seems the director took his mates on a day trip to the beach . Everything about the movie screams amateur film maker
Perhaps the most noticeable thing is the acting or rather the lack of it . I genuinely thought this was an Italian movie badly dubbed in to English . It's certain ly got that vibe where any emotion or inflexion in the voices is totally negated by other people calmly talking their lines as in " Oh no I'm being attacked by a horde of monsters mercy me " in the same sort of tone you'd expect someone to read out their laundry list
The only saving grace - and I'm being totally charitable here - is the eponymous beast creatures themselves . It would be very easy for the director to get a bunch of extras to don wigs and pretend to be flesh eating monsters . Here we have what effectively fairground gonks that attack the cast and who are less wooden than the cast which means this movie gets three out of ten instead of two out of ten