This could be, by far, the worst animated foreign film ever made. Surely it's the worst I've ever seen in a long time.
Why would the Germans try to tell a story about Christopher Columbus? This is insulting to history, insulting to children's intelligence, and, worst of all, insulting to Columbus and his crewmates. This is actually so bad I can't even put it in paragraphs. How bad is this movie? How is it misguided? How is it so insulting to history? Here's a quick checklist:
01. A Talking Bookworm Named Pico (Corey Feldman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
02. A Princess Firefly Named Marilyn (Irene Cara, Fame)
03. An Evil "Swarm-Lord"
04. Pico Telling Christopher Columbus (Dom DeLuise, The Secret of NIMH) That the World Is Flat When In Reality Columbus Figured It Out Himself
05. Columbus Going To The King & Queen To Tell Them His/Pico's Idea Of Finding The New World When In Real Life It Was The King & Queen Who Told Columbus To Find the New World
06.Stereotypical Crewmates
07. The Most Corny-as-Hell Dream Sequence Where Columbus Pulls A Spyglass Out of His Penis
08. The Crewmates Trying To Hang Columbus When In Reality It Never Happened
09. Talking Beavers Helping Pico and Marilyn Defeat the Swarm-Lord
10. Columbus Using A Sock-Puppet To Get The Long-Found Gold. Again, It Never Happened.
11. Stereotypical Natives In The New World
12. The Most Sugar-Coated Ending In Which the Natives Honor Columbus, Columbus, Pico and Marilyn All Heading Home Alive and Safe and Columbus Talking About How The World Will Improve Within the Next 2,000 Years. There's Not Even An Epilogue That Tells How Several Of Columbus's Crewmates Were Killed By the Natives.
See how bad this movie is? Not only that, it rips off Jim Henson's "The Dark Crystal" and "Labyrinth", as well as Don Bluth movies like "The Secret of NIMH", "All Dogs Go to Heaven" and "A Troll In Central Park" (and I thought THAT movie was bad.). The only saving graces of this movie are Dom DeLuise and Irene Cara. Other than that, it's loud, rude, and TOTALLY disrespectful to history.
** out of **********
Why would the Germans try to tell a story about Christopher Columbus? This is insulting to history, insulting to children's intelligence, and, worst of all, insulting to Columbus and his crewmates. This is actually so bad I can't even put it in paragraphs. How bad is this movie? How is it misguided? How is it so insulting to history? Here's a quick checklist:
01. A Talking Bookworm Named Pico (Corey Feldman, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
02. A Princess Firefly Named Marilyn (Irene Cara, Fame)
03. An Evil "Swarm-Lord"
04. Pico Telling Christopher Columbus (Dom DeLuise, The Secret of NIMH) That the World Is Flat When In Reality Columbus Figured It Out Himself
05. Columbus Going To The King & Queen To Tell Them His/Pico's Idea Of Finding The New World When In Real Life It Was The King & Queen Who Told Columbus To Find the New World
06.Stereotypical Crewmates
07. The Most Corny-as-Hell Dream Sequence Where Columbus Pulls A Spyglass Out of His Penis
08. The Crewmates Trying To Hang Columbus When In Reality It Never Happened
09. Talking Beavers Helping Pico and Marilyn Defeat the Swarm-Lord
10. Columbus Using A Sock-Puppet To Get The Long-Found Gold. Again, It Never Happened.
11. Stereotypical Natives In The New World
12. The Most Sugar-Coated Ending In Which the Natives Honor Columbus, Columbus, Pico and Marilyn All Heading Home Alive and Safe and Columbus Talking About How The World Will Improve Within the Next 2,000 Years. There's Not Even An Epilogue That Tells How Several Of Columbus's Crewmates Were Killed By the Natives.
See how bad this movie is? Not only that, it rips off Jim Henson's "The Dark Crystal" and "Labyrinth", as well as Don Bluth movies like "The Secret of NIMH", "All Dogs Go to Heaven" and "A Troll In Central Park" (and I thought THAT movie was bad.). The only saving graces of this movie are Dom DeLuise and Irene Cara. Other than that, it's loud, rude, and TOTALLY disrespectful to history.
** out of **********