As an orthodox (religious) Israeli Jew - I would like to give my impression of this film which deals with the friendship that evolves between 2 young teachers one a religious Muslim and the other religious (orthodox) Jewish. Firstly despite the political tensions that there are between Jews & Arabs culturally they have more in common with each other then with Christens or the atheistic/non religious western culture – So it does not surprise me the plot of their friendship. I think the film goes along way in tackling the misconception that an arranged marriage means no choice and depicting-especially through the biased principal -the intolerance of the supposedly open minded western world. That said, I feel there is some what of an inaccurate and biased portrayal of Rachel , her family and the religious(orthodox) Jewish world. Firstly some quotes from other reviews that also felt this:
"when Nasira firmly refuses his chosen prospect, he offers only
minimal resistance - and the father-daughter relationship appears
to be strengthened by the episode. It is Rochel who must resist the
most serious psychological onslaught from a gaggle of marriage
arrangers after they present her with a parade of socially inept
misfits. When all of them are rejected, Rochel's mother blames her
unrealistic expectations for her father's rising blood pressure, and
predicts lifelong spinsterhood, family disgrace and diminished
marriage prospects for a younger sister - and Rochel subsequently
begins to consider fleeing her family's community.
The scenes that follow all have to do with welcoming strangers into
one's home (The Muslim family does, the Jewish one does not),
choices in marriage (both girls have a problem with this, but only
the Jewish woman has a problem with her family as well) or the talk
that binds their friendship."
"What bothered me about the movie and something I've not seen
mentioned is the political correctness evident throughout. The Jews
are depicted as narrow minded somewhat brutal or stupid haters of all
things either Arab or maybe non-Jew. Meanwhile the Arabs are all
mellow high IQ tolerant understanding scholars. Where the Jews
threaten and brutalize their daughter, the Arabs are understanding of
theirs.
Even the home life reflects this. The Arabs are a loving family while
the Jews snipe at each other, whine, terrify the daughter by saying
her behavior will kill the father and even includes a consistently
nasty little kid." The Muslim family in general is depicted as more open to strangers and in a more positive light. While there may well exist individuals in the religious American Jewish world who fit the picture presented – I feel it is more a stereotyped caricature. While Rachel's mother might have had misgivings about Rachel's Muslim friend coming over she would not have made her leave.(welcoming quests is an important part of both Arab and Jewish culture). The film also made all except the Last of Rachel's shidduch dates out to be total losers and misfits – this would rarely be the case –though it might Take a number of "tries" to find the right one. In the reality of how arranged marriages work in the Jewish world a lot of time would be spent before the actual date checking the "prospect" out by getting character references from at least 3-4 different sources. Also the Shadchanit seemed to always only stress the prospective boy's financial future.In reality more stress is usually placed on the boy's knowledge of Torah(Jewish law)Good character ,level of observance of Jewish law and specific traits one is looking for – quiet or gregarious etc. The object being not to have the couple meet unless there is a Good chance of compatibility. Again while it is a pressured process most families would be more understanding and less pressuring then Rachel's family is portrayed. Also there are many different sub groups of orthodox Jews and depending on the custom of the the sub group the couple would meet from a few times to say up till about 3 months before getting engaged. In reality these marriages are usually more stable and successful then the secular –live together for a couple of years then maybe marry type. Why ? The difference between visiting a place as a tourist or looking for a place to live-one looks for different things and there's a different kind of commitment. Yes as opposed to modern western culture – marriage and family are seen as central to life and not to get married not really an option.
In short this film was an interesting attempt at tackling an unusual subject but the inaccurate negative caricatures spoil it.
"when Nasira firmly refuses his chosen prospect, he offers only
minimal resistance - and the father-daughter relationship appears
to be strengthened by the episode. It is Rochel who must resist the
most serious psychological onslaught from a gaggle of marriage
arrangers after they present her with a parade of socially inept
misfits. When all of them are rejected, Rochel's mother blames her
unrealistic expectations for her father's rising blood pressure, and
predicts lifelong spinsterhood, family disgrace and diminished
marriage prospects for a younger sister - and Rochel subsequently
begins to consider fleeing her family's community.
The scenes that follow all have to do with welcoming strangers into
one's home (The Muslim family does, the Jewish one does not),
choices in marriage (both girls have a problem with this, but only
the Jewish woman has a problem with her family as well) or the talk
that binds their friendship."
"What bothered me about the movie and something I've not seen
mentioned is the political correctness evident throughout. The Jews
are depicted as narrow minded somewhat brutal or stupid haters of all
things either Arab or maybe non-Jew. Meanwhile the Arabs are all
mellow high IQ tolerant understanding scholars. Where the Jews
threaten and brutalize their daughter, the Arabs are understanding of
theirs.
Even the home life reflects this. The Arabs are a loving family while
the Jews snipe at each other, whine, terrify the daughter by saying
her behavior will kill the father and even includes a consistently
nasty little kid." The Muslim family in general is depicted as more open to strangers and in a more positive light. While there may well exist individuals in the religious American Jewish world who fit the picture presented – I feel it is more a stereotyped caricature. While Rachel's mother might have had misgivings about Rachel's Muslim friend coming over she would not have made her leave.(welcoming quests is an important part of both Arab and Jewish culture). The film also made all except the Last of Rachel's shidduch dates out to be total losers and misfits – this would rarely be the case –though it might Take a number of "tries" to find the right one. In the reality of how arranged marriages work in the Jewish world a lot of time would be spent before the actual date checking the "prospect" out by getting character references from at least 3-4 different sources. Also the Shadchanit seemed to always only stress the prospective boy's financial future.In reality more stress is usually placed on the boy's knowledge of Torah(Jewish law)Good character ,level of observance of Jewish law and specific traits one is looking for – quiet or gregarious etc. The object being not to have the couple meet unless there is a Good chance of compatibility. Again while it is a pressured process most families would be more understanding and less pressuring then Rachel's family is portrayed. Also there are many different sub groups of orthodox Jews and depending on the custom of the the sub group the couple would meet from a few times to say up till about 3 months before getting engaged. In reality these marriages are usually more stable and successful then the secular –live together for a couple of years then maybe marry type. Why ? The difference between visiting a place as a tourist or looking for a place to live-one looks for different things and there's a different kind of commitment. Yes as opposed to modern western culture – marriage and family are seen as central to life and not to get married not really an option.
In short this film was an interesting attempt at tackling an unusual subject but the inaccurate negative caricatures spoil it.