First off I want to start by saying that i have never posted a review on IMDb before as no movie how bad it is has compelled me to do so. But recently these so called Hollywood blockbusters have left me with no choice. So lets come to this movie now. First off who did the casting for this movie and who wrote the script if you can call it a script. I guess the plan in the boardroom was lets take good actors like Chris Waltz, Mads Mikkelson, Ray Stevenson and even Luke Evans. All these actors except Luke Evans I love dearly. But in this movie all the director and producer did was under-use the best actors in the movie and instead give all the screen time to Mila and Logan. I personally enjoy watching Mila in Resident Evil series but here she was just unnecessary. And this kid Logan, who calls him an actor, i am furious that he got paid to do this role so poorly. I am a business grad so I work better in explaining things in points. So i will just make a list of what I felt was wrong with this movie; here it goes: The three musketeers, um mm I mean the four musketeers I guess -
1) Lets teach all the teenage kids to fight and join some sort of army or gang. Also send them to the big city to pick fights with anyone who insults their horse. There is no honour in doing anything else but killing another human being. I guess being a scholar, inventor and all that is just a waste, be a killer thats where all the glory and Honor is.
2) Lets hire a bunch of exceptional actors and under-use them through the whole movie and just use their faces on the posters to sell the movie.
3) A 20 year old kid who is trained by his father can beat down 20 cardinal guards all by himself while the brave three musketeers watch and laugh in surprise.
4) If you kill the cardinal guards in the streets of France, then the public cheers and rejoices for you and calls you a hero openly.
5) Lets use Da Vinci's name for the sake of scientific inventions and get away with inventing a flying elephant for crying out loud.
6) lets offer no character development in any dimension but still make the movie in 3 dimension for the people to enjoy.
7) Remember if a girl kisses you, then you must go to England, steal the Diamonds, bring them back to France all in 5 days. I suppose water ships used to sail really fast during those times.
8) If you are the villain and you have to stop the hero from bringing the diamonds back to France, then do not shoot the airship down and destroy the evidence but instead offer them a trade for the captive girl.
9) Lets get the heroes who have seen an airship for the first time in their lives fly an airship later on in the movie with no real training what so ever.
10) Lets get Mila to kill 5-6 skilled guards in a sword fight and pull off a heist but yet still accept defeat in front of 4 musketeers because she is such a petite woman with no strength.
11) Lets throw Mila from the airship thousands of miles down to ocean and still have her survive the ordeal because first you cant kill Mila no matter what and second because if you fall from the height of thousand miles into water, it does not hurt as water breaks your fall.
I can continue on with many other rants about the movie but I will stop here. My only request is to Mr. Mikkelson and Christopher Waltz is that I know it takes money to pay the bills but please do read the script before you actually sign a movie. I suggest everyone who reads this review to avoid this movie completely. Trust me you wont miss much
1) Lets teach all the teenage kids to fight and join some sort of army or gang. Also send them to the big city to pick fights with anyone who insults their horse. There is no honour in doing anything else but killing another human being. I guess being a scholar, inventor and all that is just a waste, be a killer thats where all the glory and Honor is.
2) Lets hire a bunch of exceptional actors and under-use them through the whole movie and just use their faces on the posters to sell the movie.
3) A 20 year old kid who is trained by his father can beat down 20 cardinal guards all by himself while the brave three musketeers watch and laugh in surprise.
4) If you kill the cardinal guards in the streets of France, then the public cheers and rejoices for you and calls you a hero openly.
5) Lets use Da Vinci's name for the sake of scientific inventions and get away with inventing a flying elephant for crying out loud.
6) lets offer no character development in any dimension but still make the movie in 3 dimension for the people to enjoy.
7) Remember if a girl kisses you, then you must go to England, steal the Diamonds, bring them back to France all in 5 days. I suppose water ships used to sail really fast during those times.
8) If you are the villain and you have to stop the hero from bringing the diamonds back to France, then do not shoot the airship down and destroy the evidence but instead offer them a trade for the captive girl.
9) Lets get the heroes who have seen an airship for the first time in their lives fly an airship later on in the movie with no real training what so ever.
10) Lets get Mila to kill 5-6 skilled guards in a sword fight and pull off a heist but yet still accept defeat in front of 4 musketeers because she is such a petite woman with no strength.
11) Lets throw Mila from the airship thousands of miles down to ocean and still have her survive the ordeal because first you cant kill Mila no matter what and second because if you fall from the height of thousand miles into water, it does not hurt as water breaks your fall.
I can continue on with many other rants about the movie but I will stop here. My only request is to Mr. Mikkelson and Christopher Waltz is that I know it takes money to pay the bills but please do read the script before you actually sign a movie. I suggest everyone who reads this review to avoid this movie completely. Trust me you wont miss much