I won't lie when I say that I liked 1990's Dollman. Tim Thomerson running around as Brick Bardo was simply the highlight of what could have been the worst movie in the world, but oddly enough, that movie was filled with enough humor and camp to make a movie that was only a hour and 17 minutes feel like a complete picture, even if one or two parts of the movie kind of slowed everything down.
Now, I cannot speak on the behalf of either "Bad Channels" or "Demonic Toys", but all I can say is that if "Dollman Vs. Demonic Toys" is an indicator, "Demonic Toys" would be an insult, but somewhat laughable attempt at trying to cash in on the "Child's Play" series of films from the 80s, and Bad Channels would seem like something of an original idea kind of like how "Dollman" was an original idea.
When I sat down for "Dollman Vs. Demonic Toys", I wasn't expecting anything other than maybe a less than average horror movie with a movie character I would be rooting for to defeat the Chucky Knockoff possessed toys. What I got was a movie that was padded so much, leaves so little explained and a plot that was squandered, which I feel is disrespectful for its target audiences, which would have to be the purists who watch these low budget movies to begin with.
The problem with Versus movies is that for the most part, you have to cover both sides of the tracks for the characters that are going head to head, and you run into the issue of giving away almost all the back story or none of the back story. This movie, unfortunately, pads the entire picture with all three major characters' back stories, With Dollman's back story being the longest, since he actually has more plot and character to work with.
This is insulting for the audience, because if you already know the back story (again, only the fans would watch this sequel because they have seen all the movies), this stuff you just fast-forward, and then you take off what feels about 4 to 5 minutes of film. The film also insults its audience by using lots to tactics to make the movie longer, such as having almost four minute intro credits, four minute out credits, and one very obnoxious long shot of a guard reading a magazine that didn't look like he was reading a magazine so much as it looked like he was...ahem, having "fun" with himself.
The movie also avoids explaining how in the beginning, Dollman was hitching a ride, and the next time we see him, he magically meets Nurse Ginger from "Bad Channels", or how the cop found Nurse Ginger without anything more than a reporter saying she lives in a select town.
The movie is really nothing more than continuous padding, and by the time we get to the versus part of it all, it's so anti-climatic, you almost feel like apologizing to somebody that's not you for wasting the complete hour you used to watch this movie. And let's not even touch on the fact that every one of the Demonic Toys is more obnoxious than Beetlejuice and Drop Dead Fred on a caffeine high. I don't understand how there are fans of the toys, but I know that Chucky is more tolerable than the continuously laughing clown or the baby doll with a potty mouth so lame that George Carlin would have cried in embarrassment over the thought that somebody would find some part of this threatening or even funny.
The movie is an insult to us all. For all the fans of their respectable films, watch those movies over again. At least you know you can honor their films with more respect than this. It doesn't matter whether the film is "Alien Vs. Predator", or "Freddy Vs. Jason", if you watch this versus, it really, really doesn't matter who wins, we all lose.
2/10
Now, I cannot speak on the behalf of either "Bad Channels" or "Demonic Toys", but all I can say is that if "Dollman Vs. Demonic Toys" is an indicator, "Demonic Toys" would be an insult, but somewhat laughable attempt at trying to cash in on the "Child's Play" series of films from the 80s, and Bad Channels would seem like something of an original idea kind of like how "Dollman" was an original idea.
When I sat down for "Dollman Vs. Demonic Toys", I wasn't expecting anything other than maybe a less than average horror movie with a movie character I would be rooting for to defeat the Chucky Knockoff possessed toys. What I got was a movie that was padded so much, leaves so little explained and a plot that was squandered, which I feel is disrespectful for its target audiences, which would have to be the purists who watch these low budget movies to begin with.
The problem with Versus movies is that for the most part, you have to cover both sides of the tracks for the characters that are going head to head, and you run into the issue of giving away almost all the back story or none of the back story. This movie, unfortunately, pads the entire picture with all three major characters' back stories, With Dollman's back story being the longest, since he actually has more plot and character to work with.
This is insulting for the audience, because if you already know the back story (again, only the fans would watch this sequel because they have seen all the movies), this stuff you just fast-forward, and then you take off what feels about 4 to 5 minutes of film. The film also insults its audience by using lots to tactics to make the movie longer, such as having almost four minute intro credits, four minute out credits, and one very obnoxious long shot of a guard reading a magazine that didn't look like he was reading a magazine so much as it looked like he was...ahem, having "fun" with himself.
The movie also avoids explaining how in the beginning, Dollman was hitching a ride, and the next time we see him, he magically meets Nurse Ginger from "Bad Channels", or how the cop found Nurse Ginger without anything more than a reporter saying she lives in a select town.
The movie is really nothing more than continuous padding, and by the time we get to the versus part of it all, it's so anti-climatic, you almost feel like apologizing to somebody that's not you for wasting the complete hour you used to watch this movie. And let's not even touch on the fact that every one of the Demonic Toys is more obnoxious than Beetlejuice and Drop Dead Fred on a caffeine high. I don't understand how there are fans of the toys, but I know that Chucky is more tolerable than the continuously laughing clown or the baby doll with a potty mouth so lame that George Carlin would have cried in embarrassment over the thought that somebody would find some part of this threatening or even funny.
The movie is an insult to us all. For all the fans of their respectable films, watch those movies over again. At least you know you can honor their films with more respect than this. It doesn't matter whether the film is "Alien Vs. Predator", or "Freddy Vs. Jason", if you watch this versus, it really, really doesn't matter who wins, we all lose.
2/10