Review of Calamity Jane

Calamity Jane (1998 Video)
A calamity all right
28 January 2011
The English-dubbed American release of D'Amato's CALAMITY JANE probably represents the language it would have appeared in had it been made on film for theatrical release back in the day. Unfortunately this all-sex junker has no action (Western action as opposed to XXX action) and virtually no plot.

Missy, who had a decent American porn career before becoming another casualty (drug overdose), is less than riveting in the title role. Opening scene is lesbian action, with no attempt whatsoever to establish the Western genre or plot.

Kinky Joe has Calamity about to shove her long barreled gun into a vagina, but reverts to having her using a glass dildo instead (instantly recalling the classic scene of Janine Lindemulder in Andrew Blake's HIDDEN OBSESSIONS).

With hokey Southern accent dubbing, Missy portrays a bank robber/brothel madam. Chintzy format consists of cast having sex dressed in Western costumes -that's the extent of the "Western" here.

A flashback has Rocco Siffredi as a Confederate soldier (yeah, right) with a stupid accent, having sex with Missy. Film's climax is a series of d.p.'s -first for a brunette girl and then for Missy.

This was evidently made when Joe was starring Rocco in the better-known, but equally bad pair of OUTLAWS Westerns, with overlapping casts. Even CALAMITY JANE has a sequel.

As with many (not all, but a majority) of D'Amato's XXX efforts, nothing ventured and nothing gained.
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