2/10
A Radio Action Movie !
11 November 2010
Warning: Spoilers
It's where Die Hard (1988) meets In the Line of Fire (1993) meets Independence Day (1996) meets Air Force One (1997) meets my unfortunate luck! As a script, it's a misdeed. Apparently some scriptwriter was in love with some of the 1990's blockbusters, then wanted to pay a tribute to them in a form of a movie (a clip at YouTube was better!).

So, the American president is kidnapped. The greatest agent in history is about to rescue him. Some Asian baddies want to takeover the American nuclear arsenal. (Beijing) and (Washington) are being destroyed (!!!). The agent and the president rescue the world (or the rest of it anyway). Then the agent hugs his wife and kid. It's whether someone fast-forwards a collection of poor imitation for older and bigger movies, or it's a movie on crack!

I can't believe it. It's a mishmash of many movies, a plot that doesn't know where to go, deadly indistinct movie-making, and the lowest budget you can ever see. Maybe the whole movie was being shot in 2 or 3 rooms. You'll hear about war between nations, atomic bombs fly, cities get vanished, and never see anything. At one point, an ocean liner blows up, the so-called hero jumps off it into the sea with a girl, with nothing but their clothes on, and then we see them both riding - out of the blue - a jet-ski (???). The explanation is that the movie took the shot of the explosion from Deep Rising (1998). I bet, this is a homage to the movie's godfather Ed Wood!

The lead actor (Patrick Muldoon) is anything but a lead actor. He can be fine only as the failure brother of the lead's wife, or the loser boyfriend of the lead's sister who'll get killed later by overdose. In fact, (Muldoon) looks drunk or a drug addict (or both!). Zero as an action hero. Zero as an actor. Zero as a charisma.. well, I can go forever!

It's a farce to watch (Roy Scheider) in movies of that level. But sorrowfully a very good actor like him used to get involved in works like this at his last days. Enough to recall that he played the role of the American president in 3 C-Grade movies in succession: The Peacekeeper (1997), Executive Target (1997), and the cream of the crop Chain of Command (2000). By the way, I was busy thinking how to be a ladies' man while you're a 68 year old?!!

One of my favorite beauties, once, (Maria Conchita Alonso) is used in strange role. She's in it for the last third to badmouth the president of China, in a remarkably filthy way that I don't know how the Chinese people didn't respond to, all in one place, one cadre, by her one botoxed to the max face!

The lessons: Don't go and destroy (Beijing) and (Washington) on screen while you don't have the right budget for it. Don't create essential characters at the last 15 minutes. Don't allege a political point of view while you artistically have nothing at all. And when you're making an action movie, please, just please, PUT SOME ACTION IN IT!

It pushes me to ask: the original Hollywood fluff, if presumably well made, is visually and sonically dazzling, having popular stars and some fun, any fun. Now this is the 7 Dwarfs without Snow White, or Cinderella without the magic! So, for whom exactly this line of poor copycats is made? Especially while the good B-movies are out there already. Sure these small production companies know that nothing that attractive about their goods, and how they can't compete with the superior movies by works like this. Unless - OH MY GOD - they don't know yet!

Anyhow, you can't blame anyone for dreaming. This movie dreamed of being a movie, and fulfilled that, however in totally the wrong way!
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