I'm almost at a loss for words when it comes to a film like Slingshot. The story is an awkward mix of tedium and clichés that changes into something different every 30 minutes. It too often looks more like a music video or a commercial for Wrangler jeans than it does a legitimate motion picture. The few times it stumbles into something vaguely entertaining, the moment is abandoned faster than a a blind date bailing on the Octomom. There's neither a single memorable line of dialog nor an interesting and believable human relationship in the entire production. I don't know why anyone thought this film should be made or why anyone would give money to these people to make it.
Ashley and Taylor (David Arquette and Balthazar Getty) are two-bit thieves who've known each other since childhood and drifted through their whole lives together. They've made their way to Connecticut on word from a criminal acquaintance that there are real opportunities to steal up there. Ash and Taylor gin up what is apparently their standard scam, starting up affairs with lonely housewives whom they bed and then rob. Of course, such a scheme only works because Ashley and Taylor look like David Arquette and Balthazar Getty. Actual two-bit criminals are not all that attractive because a life of two-bit crime is a fairly hard road of deprivation, substance abuse and getting your ass kicked on a semi-regular basis.
Taylor manages to hook up with Karen (Julianna Margulies), a woman with a loveless second marriage and a hot teenage daughter named April (Thora Birch). Taylor becomes a regular booty call for Karen when her husband is out of town and he steals some stuff from her jewelry box that won't be missed. Taylor, though, starts getting clingy and too wrapped up in his mark, desperately waiting for her summons. Meanwhile, Karen is mundanely excited and conflicted over her new affair and sets up her hornier best friend Emma (Joely Fisher) for a romp with Ashley. Now, there is something appealing about the contrast between the more emotional relationship of Karen and Taylor and the more physical union between Emma and Ashley but these filmmakers don't recognize it, so Emma quickly vanishes from the story and Taylor moves on from Karen to her daughter April.
That's right, the two-bit thief transitions from banging the mom to falling in cow-eyed love with her daughter. Now, that sort of makes sense for Taylor as he's been established as a soft-headed fool who's looking for something to pull himself out of his miserable life. But a college aged girl falling in love with her adulterous mother's boy toy, especially when she's aware of their affair and Taylor tells her that he's a low-rent thief? That's messed up. April would have to have some serious mental health issues, both internally and with her mother, to find that situation romantically appealing. But these filmmakers are utterly oblivious to that and treat Taylor and April as just another two young kids sweetly falling in love.
If you can guess that Taylor and April getting together makes Ashley into a third wheel, you can probably figure out where the story goes from here. Trust me though; you can't possibly imagine how poorly it ends up being told. Throw in some stuff that goes nowhere involving Ashley's difficulties with the local fence and a strange digression involving a pee-wee hockey player that bookends the movie and that is Slingshot.
The performances in this film are fine, though none of the characters have any depth or substance for the actors to work with. This movie is also only 90 minutes long, so I suppose it gets some points for not extending its crappiness out any further than that.
Slingshot is the sort of bad film you get when people who aren't that talented throw a bunch of individual story ideas into a script but never develop any of them. Add in a style of filmmaking that looks like it was inspired by watching too much television and you've got a thoroughly unenjoyable product. Skip this thing.
Ashley and Taylor (David Arquette and Balthazar Getty) are two-bit thieves who've known each other since childhood and drifted through their whole lives together. They've made their way to Connecticut on word from a criminal acquaintance that there are real opportunities to steal up there. Ash and Taylor gin up what is apparently their standard scam, starting up affairs with lonely housewives whom they bed and then rob. Of course, such a scheme only works because Ashley and Taylor look like David Arquette and Balthazar Getty. Actual two-bit criminals are not all that attractive because a life of two-bit crime is a fairly hard road of deprivation, substance abuse and getting your ass kicked on a semi-regular basis.
Taylor manages to hook up with Karen (Julianna Margulies), a woman with a loveless second marriage and a hot teenage daughter named April (Thora Birch). Taylor becomes a regular booty call for Karen when her husband is out of town and he steals some stuff from her jewelry box that won't be missed. Taylor, though, starts getting clingy and too wrapped up in his mark, desperately waiting for her summons. Meanwhile, Karen is mundanely excited and conflicted over her new affair and sets up her hornier best friend Emma (Joely Fisher) for a romp with Ashley. Now, there is something appealing about the contrast between the more emotional relationship of Karen and Taylor and the more physical union between Emma and Ashley but these filmmakers don't recognize it, so Emma quickly vanishes from the story and Taylor moves on from Karen to her daughter April.
That's right, the two-bit thief transitions from banging the mom to falling in cow-eyed love with her daughter. Now, that sort of makes sense for Taylor as he's been established as a soft-headed fool who's looking for something to pull himself out of his miserable life. But a college aged girl falling in love with her adulterous mother's boy toy, especially when she's aware of their affair and Taylor tells her that he's a low-rent thief? That's messed up. April would have to have some serious mental health issues, both internally and with her mother, to find that situation romantically appealing. But these filmmakers are utterly oblivious to that and treat Taylor and April as just another two young kids sweetly falling in love.
If you can guess that Taylor and April getting together makes Ashley into a third wheel, you can probably figure out where the story goes from here. Trust me though; you can't possibly imagine how poorly it ends up being told. Throw in some stuff that goes nowhere involving Ashley's difficulties with the local fence and a strange digression involving a pee-wee hockey player that bookends the movie and that is Slingshot.
The performances in this film are fine, though none of the characters have any depth or substance for the actors to work with. This movie is also only 90 minutes long, so I suppose it gets some points for not extending its crappiness out any further than that.
Slingshot is the sort of bad film you get when people who aren't that talented throw a bunch of individual story ideas into a script but never develop any of them. Add in a style of filmmaking that looks like it was inspired by watching too much television and you've got a thoroughly unenjoyable product. Skip this thing.