In the minus column:
A hackneyed plot. Banal dialogue. Perfunctory characters. Action without consequence. Good actors in bad roles. Bad actors in bad roles, especially many annoying performers who do not die early enough, or who do not die at all, including two dull children whose only purpose in the film is to be eaten by piranha, and who are not. Plus a weak story as an excuse for various types of titillation.
The pluses:
Various types of titillation, including the violent deaths of Eli Roth and Jerry O'Connell. Come on. That's some big pluses.
This movie more or less performs its primary directive, which is to teach young boys how to masturbate to softcore sex while simultaneously enjoying hardcore violence. Or the other way around, maybe; does it matter? At least "Piranha 3D" is unpretentious in the structure department. It doesn't bother making its fish expert a scientist, but rather a guy played by a guy who used to play a scientist. On one level, that's lazy filmmaking. On another, though, it's pretty efficient shorthand.
However, the movie does make the strange choice of looking down upon a character whose job is to make pornography. Since this movie's job is to be pornography, I'm confused. Is that a metaphysical statement? Is this creation talking back to its maker? Or is it just unselfconscious enough not to notice that it contains all the dirty stuff its villain wants us to see?
Besides all that, the movie offers up several kinds of wish fulfillment: underdog heroism; blonde girls who would never sleep with you getting their hair caught in outboard motors; and the greatest gift of all, that it is soon over.
A hackneyed plot. Banal dialogue. Perfunctory characters. Action without consequence. Good actors in bad roles. Bad actors in bad roles, especially many annoying performers who do not die early enough, or who do not die at all, including two dull children whose only purpose in the film is to be eaten by piranha, and who are not. Plus a weak story as an excuse for various types of titillation.
The pluses:
Various types of titillation, including the violent deaths of Eli Roth and Jerry O'Connell. Come on. That's some big pluses.
This movie more or less performs its primary directive, which is to teach young boys how to masturbate to softcore sex while simultaneously enjoying hardcore violence. Or the other way around, maybe; does it matter? At least "Piranha 3D" is unpretentious in the structure department. It doesn't bother making its fish expert a scientist, but rather a guy played by a guy who used to play a scientist. On one level, that's lazy filmmaking. On another, though, it's pretty efficient shorthand.
However, the movie does make the strange choice of looking down upon a character whose job is to make pornography. Since this movie's job is to be pornography, I'm confused. Is that a metaphysical statement? Is this creation talking back to its maker? Or is it just unselfconscious enough not to notice that it contains all the dirty stuff its villain wants us to see?
Besides all that, the movie offers up several kinds of wish fulfillment: underdog heroism; blonde girls who would never sleep with you getting their hair caught in outboard motors; and the greatest gift of all, that it is soon over.