There are bad films and bad films. Some have good acting and production values and still turn out to be pretentious or shallow. Others are made on the cheap and look it. People like to say "Plan Nine from Outer Space" is the worst ever made. It's not, this is worse. This movie is bad in every way possible and you can't even laugh at it. Let me count the ways: It's dark, filmed in monotone, the protagonist is a moron (even after he starts to wake up which takes forever), the set is cheap and badly lit, mostly dangling plastic tubing and rubber tree roots, the dubbed voices are as bad as any 1970s Hong Kong martial arts flick, and the story makes no sense at all.
A man who remarkably resembles the Incredible Hulk awakes in a dank, dark underground garage with no memory. He staggers around among wrecked equipment and dangling roots. This goes on forever. He is trying to get to the surface. We have no idea where he is, who he is, or how he got there.
He meets a girl. They are attacked by pasty zombies, or mutants. Unlike him, she manages a couple of intelligible sentences and then she disappears into the tunnels. She believes she's turning into a mutant, I think. After a while I didn't care what was going on, I just wanted out.
But what I hated most about this film was that the filmmakers had no story to tell and no concept of what kind of world they were supposed to be creating and they went ahead and made a movie anyway. I couldn't make out what the characters were saying so I muted the TV so I could read subtitles, but then I realized that the characters were just shouting meaningless slogans like: "They're not getting energy from the Tree, they're getting it from the humans in the cubes!" ...What?
Evidently there was some experiment where a Super Tree was being cultivated in an underground complex (for unexplained reasons) and something went terribly wrong, maybe the Tree exploded and turned the workers into mutants. The protagonist who forgot who he was, was sent down to find out the damage and report. But evidently he turns up in a different body. Why was that? What went wrong is never explained.
Maybe they were trying to get energy from the defunct Tree but in a later scene there is a city above the tree and all the lights are on and so they're getting energy from somewhere else. The humans in the cubes maybe? None of it made any sense. If there was any spoiler I could actually give about the film I would do so just to get people to stay away. If I could explain the lame ending I would, but I couldn't even understand that. Eden Log is worse than bad because the filmmakers were lazy, cheap, frivolous and inauthentic. Some films try and fail, this film didn't even try.
A man who remarkably resembles the Incredible Hulk awakes in a dank, dark underground garage with no memory. He staggers around among wrecked equipment and dangling roots. This goes on forever. He is trying to get to the surface. We have no idea where he is, who he is, or how he got there.
He meets a girl. They are attacked by pasty zombies, or mutants. Unlike him, she manages a couple of intelligible sentences and then she disappears into the tunnels. She believes she's turning into a mutant, I think. After a while I didn't care what was going on, I just wanted out.
But what I hated most about this film was that the filmmakers had no story to tell and no concept of what kind of world they were supposed to be creating and they went ahead and made a movie anyway. I couldn't make out what the characters were saying so I muted the TV so I could read subtitles, but then I realized that the characters were just shouting meaningless slogans like: "They're not getting energy from the Tree, they're getting it from the humans in the cubes!" ...What?
Evidently there was some experiment where a Super Tree was being cultivated in an underground complex (for unexplained reasons) and something went terribly wrong, maybe the Tree exploded and turned the workers into mutants. The protagonist who forgot who he was, was sent down to find out the damage and report. But evidently he turns up in a different body. Why was that? What went wrong is never explained.
Maybe they were trying to get energy from the defunct Tree but in a later scene there is a city above the tree and all the lights are on and so they're getting energy from somewhere else. The humans in the cubes maybe? None of it made any sense. If there was any spoiler I could actually give about the film I would do so just to get people to stay away. If I could explain the lame ending I would, but I couldn't even understand that. Eden Log is worse than bad because the filmmakers were lazy, cheap, frivolous and inauthentic. Some films try and fail, this film didn't even try.