4/10
And the screaming starts… It's the Attack of the Beast Creatures!
18 November 2009
Warning: Spoilers
Attack of the Beast creatures is as cheesy as its ill conceived, though still somewhat pleasingly shoddy B movie title might suggest. Set in the 1920s, a group of beleaguered survivors flee their sinking vessel in a brief but still pretty effective opening matte/forced perspective shot. Tensions are frayed and to make matters worse, they get washed up on an uncharted 'tropical' island. From there they decide to explore their new surroundings only to find that it's inhabited by tiny long-haired cannibals - the Beast Creatures of the title - that are hell bent on making the unfortunate survivors the main course of their banquet. Cue: lots of running around and screaming – there's lots of screaming in this movie.

Most of the attack scenes are mundanely staged, consisting of the actors screaming and gyrating into camera with plastic dolls stuck to their torsos. The movie's a poverty row effort on every level and it does show, but the filmmakers do get good production value from a skeleton prop - the kind used in medical schools - that shows up no fewer than three times. The cast spend most of their time wandering aimlessly and endlessly through their menacing 'island' locale. We continuously see shots of them trekking through a forest that's clearly not the tropics where the movie's meant to be set. In one particular shot they even look like they're skipping through the jungle rather than walking as there are arms flailing everywhere.

The beast creatures themselves are not at all convincing and resemble children's toys more than the malevolent miniature thugs they're supposed to be. There are lots of shots of them being flung into the air and thrown at trees, somewhat betraying their doll/puppet origins. In some instances they're even being held into shot on the ends of wooden poles operated by the clearly 'up for it' crew. The big 'set piece' that occurs 51 minutes in consists of nothing but a long sequence where the cast simply stands around holding static puppets to their bodies while screaming their lungs out. Having said that, various shots of the creatures zipping through the forest at high-speed display a certain amount of ingenuity on the part of the filmmakers. They're really quite well done and not completely devoid of merit and charm. Also the idea of acid lakes on the island is very imaginative and the scene where one unfortunate cast member stops to take a drink from the aforementioned lake is done quite well, albeit the horror is let down somewhat by the usual gratuitous and feeble screaming.

There are some bad edits and dodgy choices of takes in this movie. For example due to incorrect color timing during one particular zoom-in shot, a lone beast creature is barely visible hidden among the undergrowth. You actually have to pause and rewind the footage to see it and even at that, it's very difficult. Furthermore, after a female cast member's hand is bitten by one of the little carnivores, the actor playing the character of 'Morgan' clearly fluffs his line, but still continues to utter the dialog without batting an eyelid.

In another example of questionable editing, during the survivors' final bid for escape at the end, we're treated to a 'greatest hits' compilation of all the movies 'special effects' moments for no reason whatsoever other than to highlight the fact that the filmmakers were evidently very proud of what they achieved. But it's still hard not to like a movie where the hero makes a desperate last dash for the ocean and freedom – all the while struggling manfully against static rubber dolls that are clearly just tacked onto his clothes.

Director Michael Stanley never made another movie again until 2008 and based on this, it is not surprising Hollywood never came knocking on his door. Neither did any of his cast go on to do better things, though it has to be said the female performances in the film are somewhat better than the males. But all things considered this is still an enjoyably insane film. Though at times slow and ponderously paced, Attack of the Beast Creatures is a lot of fun. If you watch it with the correct mindset, i.e., in the company of some like-minded friends and lots of beer,there is no reason why you won't enjoy this particular slice of 80s B movie madness.

While the movie was released on video in the 90s, it remains unreleased on DVD, though it was/is available from the director himself via online ordering. Yes, it could be argued that the entire effort is amateurish, but the film still isn't without its cult value and appeal. If a director and cast commentary was thrown into the mix along with some trailers and a comprehensive 'making of' documentary (where is the cast? What are they doing now?), there'd be absolutely no excuse for this movie to languish in limbo any more and maybe then it could finally get the much deserved and long overdue official DVD release.
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