"Sorority Row" is the bland remake of 1983's "The House on Sorority Row",provided more laughs than screams,as five close sisters accidentally have their close friend murdered in a prank gone amiss and vow to keep it secret. And if you think that sounds corny and done-to-death,the sisters actually justify their actions by Theta Pi's motto "Trust,respect,honor,solidarity,secrecy." Quite convenient for the lead bimbo Jessica(Leah Pipes)whose desire to impress her boyfriend's senator father causes her to take her callous manipulation to the maximum.
And Surprise,Surprise-this little plan comes back to haunt the sisters. It's idiocy all around with a mysterious murderer who starts it all by stabbing the supposedly dead body with a tire iron. How is that supposed to help at all? The moment-which was meant to be suspenseful and surprising-only makes the audience laugh at this bumbling wimp. Resting heavily on the concept of amoral sorostitutes who throw raging parties,take drugs,and have plastic surgery and act stuck up in public, "Sorority Row" fails to keep the opening scenes believable. But the fantasy-or every college boy's wet dream of seeing drunken sorority girls jumping on trampolines topless and smacking each other with pillows by telling you that crap like that only happens in stupid movies where characterization comes second to a convoluted plot with no believability. Like this piece of dung.
After tossing the body of their beloved sister down a mine shaft,the remaining girls(one of whom played by Rumer Willis,the daughter of actor Bruce Willis)receiving a disturbing text message on graduation day which reveals someone is aware of their twisted sister. The plot unwinds from there and basically the audience can go by the numbers to exactly what happens next. The slut dies first and the mysterious black robe killer racks up bodies than the Asian girl beds frat boys,not to mention making out with the other sisters too.
At least the house mother(Carrie Fisher,yes that Carrie Fisher of Star Wars....in a horror movie??? Who was behind the casting here???),provides humor to the predictable sorority jabs,but its not enough to save this plotlesss,scareless trip through clichés ans stereotypes. And one point the killer writes "Theta Pi must die" in blood on a wall. Its not that hard to agree,but this was a remake that should have been left alone.
And Surprise,Surprise-this little plan comes back to haunt the sisters. It's idiocy all around with a mysterious murderer who starts it all by stabbing the supposedly dead body with a tire iron. How is that supposed to help at all? The moment-which was meant to be suspenseful and surprising-only makes the audience laugh at this bumbling wimp. Resting heavily on the concept of amoral sorostitutes who throw raging parties,take drugs,and have plastic surgery and act stuck up in public, "Sorority Row" fails to keep the opening scenes believable. But the fantasy-or every college boy's wet dream of seeing drunken sorority girls jumping on trampolines topless and smacking each other with pillows by telling you that crap like that only happens in stupid movies where characterization comes second to a convoluted plot with no believability. Like this piece of dung.
After tossing the body of their beloved sister down a mine shaft,the remaining girls(one of whom played by Rumer Willis,the daughter of actor Bruce Willis)receiving a disturbing text message on graduation day which reveals someone is aware of their twisted sister. The plot unwinds from there and basically the audience can go by the numbers to exactly what happens next. The slut dies first and the mysterious black robe killer racks up bodies than the Asian girl beds frat boys,not to mention making out with the other sisters too.
At least the house mother(Carrie Fisher,yes that Carrie Fisher of Star Wars....in a horror movie??? Who was behind the casting here???),provides humor to the predictable sorority jabs,but its not enough to save this plotlesss,scareless trip through clichés ans stereotypes. And one point the killer writes "Theta Pi must die" in blood on a wall. Its not that hard to agree,but this was a remake that should have been left alone.