Review of Pimp My Ride

Pimp My Ride (2004–2009)
Pimp My TV Set - so that whenever PMR comes on, MTV's signal is blocked.
18 August 2008
Hands down the dullest show MTV has ever pimped up out of its pimpy sleeves. Take a shoddy car, stuff a few superfluous accessories in it - such as advanced DVDs whose features you won't use at home let alone in a damn car - and then watch the vehicle's owner (always a moron) throw a hysterical fit of jubilation once he sees how over-the-top silly his car has become. You are now the proud owner of a car that is good enough for any gay-pride parade! Throw in a dumb rapper with an appropriately idiotic name, and a bunch of criminal-looking (hence "cool") pseudo-mechanics, and you've got yourself the ultimate television sleeping pill. I sometimes think the only way for me to wake up during an episode of PMR is if the car in question actually left the screen and smashed right into my face.

The only thing Xzibit exhibits is his profound talent for memorizing several lines at a time, a feat for which they probably had to cast dozens of braindead, barely successful rappers. His pitiful jokes do MTV justice, i.e. are on par with the expectations of the gooey substances that make up the brains of most MTV viewers. Maybe they should pimp Xzibit's teeth next time: there simply isn't enough gold and silver glittering in that damn mouth of his.

The cars that are picked for dem-da-pimpin' are supposedly all owned by poor students and the like. So how is it a favour to those people to give them a car that will need ultra-security to prevent it from being stolen within the first two days? My advice to future PMC customers: sell the car IMMEDIATELY to some desperate nerdy fan of the show, and then buy a REAL car.

As for using the word "pimp" as a verb and all that, well what's to say that is new? MTV loves to contribute its lion's share in the dumbing-down of the 21st-century populace. If that means glorifying rent-a-whore "businessmen" or raping the English language, even better.

German MTV has managed to go one "better", however. "Pimp Mein Fahrrad" is about doing dull things to bicycles. What's next? Pimp My Girlfriend? (Actually, that would be interesting!) Pimp My Toilet Paper?
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